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Sep 212013
 

A father who survived an alleged murder attempt by his own two sons has refused to criticize them, saying: ‘My boys are my boys and I’ll never abandon them and not support them.’

William Bledsoe, 70, of Ellensburg, Washington, admits the accusations against his twin sons, 25-year-old Caleb and Joshua. ‘Yes, I am the man they tried to kill,’ Bledsoe told ABCNews.com.

The brothers share a home and a business with their father. They are accused of trying to kill him in a house fire, telling arresting officers it was because they find him difficult to live with and work for.

dailymail.co.uk

 

I have no doubt that my son Patrick found me “difficult to live with” because I turned him in to the police for robbing our friend’s business so completely they were out of business for months because all their computers were out as evidence.

It is difficult for me to logically understand how this man stays in denial after the murder attempt yet I do understand, it isn’t logic, it is emotional. I was able to stay in denial pretty much until I saw Patrick was proud of his crime, and then the murder attempt on me and my other two sons was the cherry on top of the cake…I was done with Patrick. But it was more than 20 years after he had started his “life of crime”

While I realize how painful it is to accept that your child(ren) is not the person you raised them to be, to not accept that keeps one from healing. I imagine also that in the early stages of what must be his grief at finding out his sons hated him enough to try to burn him to death, he is still in shock, and maybe disociative as well…unable to completely see the “forest for the trees” where his sons are concerned.

The Bledsoe twins comment that their dad was difficult to live with and work for is trash talk..if they didn’t like living with daddy they could have gotten their own place and if he was so difficult to work for they could have worked somewhere else.. If they didn’t like daddy they could have refused to speak to him or associate with him. Murder is not a healthy option when you don’t like someone. Obviously they didn’t like daddy but they wanted his business and any savings he had. Yet they blame their father’s behavior for what they did and he is accepting that blame.

I hope Mr. Bledsoe can come to terms with what his sons are and move on with his life. While I agree that he should get the bitterness out of his heart….to support these cold blooded would be killers is not, in my opinion, a healthy or a wise choice.

It’s also possible that Mr. Bledsoe was abusive to them as children and that they are trauma bonded to him and, like an abused wife, found it impossible to “leave” so decided to burn daddy to death and then be able to keep the family business for themselves. There are all kinds of ways this could have played out in the drama of the family of origin, and none of them are healthy.

 

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  7 Responses to “Sons Try to Burn Father Many Possible "Reasons" Why

  1. Joyce, the Bledsoe man’s denial of what his sons truly are is just one example of zillions – parent’s REFUSE to acknowledge that their children are what they are.

    Same thing is going on with a friend of mine. She keeps asking other people why her son abandoned her at her most desperate hour, and she’s WANTING to hear that it’s just because he’s “at THAT age” when he’s thinking with his d*ck, or he’s “at THAT age” when kids are utterly selfish. I cannot respond to this continued belief that this kid’s choices were “just they way they are, at that age.” No, it’s not true.

    The Bledsoe twins are reminiscent of those brothers that killed their parents for money. It’s not about a parent being “difficult to live with.” The clear options are to either put up with it, or MOVE AWAY. But, murder? There’s no excuse for premeditated murder.

    EUGH……………

  2. I agree, Truthy, and not all cases of family murder are “trauma bonding”—sometimes it is that the parent won’t put up with the kids’ bad behavior and tries to discipline them for it and that, like in the case with my son, is viewed as “abuse” by them.

    I remember the case you are talking about but for the life of me I can’t remember the names of the family. It was national news and the “OJ trial” of its time. Mendeze brothers?

  3. This sounds a lot like the Menendez brothers, but there again, like it has been said. They could have moved out, they could have gotten a job somewhere else and this would have never happened.

    I wonder if his denial is due in some part, to dememtia? He’s ‘losing it’ and can’t see clearly what’s going on. My friends mom was that way towards the end of life.

  4. Mr. Bledsoe sounds just like my parents. Actually, I used to be the same way. In my family, we never held the perpetrator responsible. We just accepted that this is the way they are.

    In my opinion, this is just a result of narcissism and bad boundaries.

    Unlike Mr. Bledsoe, I did have a boundary against a murder attempt on my life. It didn’t even have to be an attempt, all it had to be is a desire to see my demise and that is where I drew the line.

    My boundaries are even better now. I don’t put up with any type of envy or greed because I know where it can lead: murder.

    I do understand why Mr. Bledsoe continues to “support” his sons. He is living in a land of magical thinking, where his “support” will make a difference and will make them love him. He doesn’t understand that that part of their brain is MISSING. Wake up! Mr. Bledsoe!

  5. Phoenix and Sky I agree with you both….there is terrible dysfunction in this family, and possibly Mr. Bledsoe has been overbearing and hateful to his sons, or maybe not, but Sky’s point that the sons have no empathy or conscience and would try to turn their father to death in order to get rid of him and obtain the family business shows to me that he is lucky to escape with his life. The fact that he is “supportive” of these young men in spite of what they did shows he has little if any insight into the family dynamics. I hope they get a long prison sentence.

  6. Who really knows what was going on there, before, during or even now- after. Unless we are in the middle of it, there are things we don’t know. I can only hope Mr. Bledsoe has the support and utilizes any available treatment necessary to get him thru this. Sad situation, no matter how you look at it.

  7. Yep, definitely sad to the max.

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