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Dec 122016

I never thought much about what we might now call “prison groupies” until my son Patrick had some girl call me to talk her about him. For some period of time he had a cell phone in prison with access to the Internet and apparently he had contacted her that way. I have also seen […]

 Posted by at 9:57 am
Sep 122015
Enabling hurts everyone involved

I only have to look at my own family to see just how much enabling can hurt others. My maternal grandmother was the child of an abusive alcoholic father and an enabling mother. Her assigned family role was to keep the family secrets and pretend that “everything was lovely” no matter how bad it was. […]

Dec 022014
Trying to help those who won't help themselves

    Throughout my lifetime, I’ve frequently felt compelled to “help” people, regardless of what type of help they might have needed. Given my dysfunctional and abusive childhood, that compulsion to “fix” or “help” became a personal pathology. I truly believed that I could “help” others reach their true potential, because the responsibility to “fix” […]

Aug 202013
Prison Pen Pals

Here in Arkansas there was a news article about a large black woman who had multiple pen pals, usually older men, and she would send them photos of “hot chicks” taken from magazines and tell these older men that was her and that she only had a short time to serve and she wanted to […]

Jun 142013

What happens to the victims of abuse, sexual or otherwise, when we turn our backs on it, or worse, cover up the abuse, invalidate the victim’s pain because we “don’t want to cause a scene?” In my own family, our family abuser when I was young was my mother’s brother, that I will call “uncle […]

May 292013
When You're Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place...

Next time you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, you might stop and ask yourself how you got there. It might be that you are being manipulated into taking responsibility that was never yours to begin with. Repeat criminal offenders are invariably manipulators.  Not to say that all manipulators wear the scarlet […]

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