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Nov 152014

Domestic abuse as dating advice?


From the use of ‘coercion and threats’ to ’emotional abuse’, this shocking ‘checklist’ for dating women was posted on Twitter by California ‘pick-up artist’ Julien Blanc.

The diagram, featuring three sections entitled ‘physical’, ‘violence’ and ‘sexual’, was originally designed by a domestic abuse charity to help women identify when they are being abused.

However, the 25-year-old uploaded it to his Twitter page earlier this week, alongside the caption: ‘May as well be a checklist… #HowToMakeHerStay.’

The post, which has now been hidden online, came as British politicians urged the country’s Home Secretary Teresa May to ban Mr Blanc from coming to the UK.

Shocking: Self-described 'pick-up artist' Julien Blanc, from California, posted this chart - designed to help women identify when they are being abused - on his Twitter page, calling it a 'checklist' for 'making her stay'

Shocking: Self-described ‘pick-up artist’ Julien Blanc, from California, posted this chart – designed to help women identify when they are being abused – on his Twitter page, calling it a ‘checklist’ for ‘making her stay’

I’ve read about this guy before, and his “advice” on how to “pick up women” which he sells for high dollars, but this is about the worst I’ve seen or heard of him.

These tactics, unfortunately, DO WORK in keeping a woman subservient to an abuser if she allows them. And, also unfortunately, “picking up” and having sex with many different  women is the goal of way too many men without any conscience. Research shows that about 75% of domestic abusers (both male and female) are full-on psychopaths and control “freaks.” This advice would not appeal to any man with a conscience in my opinion.

I find it quite wise of the UK to not allow this man into their country. He is not a citizen there and has no “right” to visit that country, so I do hope they do not allow him to enter the UK. Also glad that the folks “Down Under” sent him packing earlier than he had planned. I hope other countries will also ban him from going there.

What is so very disturbing about this man, though, is that people will pay him for his “advice” and I believe that only men who are inclined to be abusive anyway, would value this advice.

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  6 Responses to “Domestic abuse as dating advice? What is wrong with this picture?

  1. Article up

  2. Joyce, I very much appreciate this article – October is the “official” awareness month for DV&A, but it’s such a frigging epidemic that every day should be a day of awareness.

    These tactics do, indeed, work like the proverbial charm. I’ve experienced EACH of them, and it makes me sick to think that there are people out there that would use them as tools for their personal gain. But……..as we must acknowledge……..there are such people out there, and their numbers are growing, daily.


  3. Truthy, I am not sure if the numbers are increasing percentage wise in the population, but I think that at least some of us are becoming more AWARE of this kind of tactic. Unfortunately, too many people who are LIVING abuse don’t “get it” that these are tactics that can be learned as well as instinctive. About 75% of domestic abusers are psychopaths, full-on, without conscience and plenty of feelings of entitlement to whatever they can get away with. That this man is PROMOTING this and is actually finding a WILLING audience willing to PAY for this advice IS disturbing to me though. But the fact that there is BACKLASH against him is a good thing.

  4. Some men use these tactics covertly. My ex spath kept me from my job but I didn’t know it. I thought I just had poor health, when in fact he was poisoning me. He did take my money, but I thought I was giving it to someone who deserved it and who would pay me back. He used the pity ploy to do this.

    Pretty much anything he did to control me, he hid it under a veiled reason. In the end I did see it because I was so completely controlled that he didn’t even bother to hide it anymore. But that’s not how it starts. When it first starts, they make you think that it is YOUR decision to give him everything he wants.

    I’ve read some of these pick up artists websites. They are basically an instruction manual for how to be personality disordered and how to exhibit the traits of a borderline personality. It’s so strange to think that someone would pay money to learn how to be mentally ill.

  5. Yea, you are right about that Sky! Some people (not just men) use these tactics “naturally” and others seem to use them by “education” lilke this jerk is trying to do. Personally, though, I don’t think a “normal” man would sit still for “lessons” like these. Much less pay so much money for them. YUK!

    This man objectifies women and equates them with objects to be USED…and I think he is a psychopath at the very least. No conscience, and views women as prey.

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