It is not uncommon for offenders to use their significant others to assist them in their criminal activities, or to “pimp them out” or to use them for “drug mules” or any other number of offenses, and to get them involved in criminal activities that may make them subject to arrest and prosecution as well.
The following article in the Washington Post illustrates how one group of inmates involved women who were prison guards themselves and were supposed to be guarding the inmates, and enforcing the rules, and who, instead, became involved with the inmates in breaking the laws, and are now subject to prosecution and may face life behind bars themselves.
Several of these women actually are having children with one of these men. What were these women thinking? Or were they thinking? What motivated them to become involved with an inmate? What motivated them to risk so much?
Documents that investigators recovered from the Black Guerrilla Family detail how its new members are taught to target specific officers. “Look for women,” they are told, “with low self-esteem, insecurities, and certain physical attributes.”
My own son, Patrick, had an affair with a married female major at one facility. I never did understand why she would risk so much for an affair with an inmate. Maybe she had low self esteem. Who knows, but if she had been caught she would have been prosecuted as well as lost her job, probably her marriage, and most likely custody of her children. I met her in the visiting room once, and the “sparks” were flying between them, it was obvious to me that there was “heat” between them. I failed to see how the other guards couldn’t see it as well. Patrick of course was as proud as a peacock.
One secretary at a facility Patrick was in was having an affair with both an inmate and a major there. She was found dead in a closet with the inmate, and both of their throats were cut. The official story was the inmate killed her and then cut his own throat. Patrick said the Major caught them and murdered them both. I tend to believe the story Patrick told me, but who knows, it is a dog-eat-dog world inside prison. In many cases, the guards are as corrupt as the inmates, I think.
It is important that we remember that just because someone says “I love you” or “I need you to help me” does not mean that we are obligated to do something for them that we are not comfortable doing.
Learning to set boundaries. Learning to say “No, I am not going to do that because it is wrong” is an important thing for us to do. It was hard for me to do, even though I consider myself a strong person, a good person, a Christian. After all, Patrick was my son, I wanted to protect my son.
Standing outside the apartment in 1989 waiting for the police to come and take my son to jail, knowing he was inside angry at me, feeling like I had betrayed him, was probably the worst day of my life up to that time. I thought I would die of shame. Little did I know that was not the worst day of my life.
We all want to think that we are loved, cared about, valued by those we love. But we also need to look at the person we love to see if they are using us or if they are showing respect for us. If they are using us for crimes, they are not showing us respect. A person who truly loves you and cares about you does not involve us in activities that will or even could result in us going to jail or prison.
For some reason these women allowed these men to get them to make choices that have now landed them in very hot water with the law. They are being prosecuted for crimes that most likely will put them in federal prison for several years. These crimes will change their lives forever, deprive them of their freedom and their civil rights. The children that they will give birth to will be raised by someone else. The entire situation is a sad one. This is not an unusual case though. Many offenders involve others in their crimes though, pulling down others into the pits of crime.