I recently ran across a wonderful site the PANDORA dot org….it is a blog and education site for survivors of sexual (and other) abuse with all kinds of services for survivors to help them heal.
The address is http://www.pandorasproject.org/ and just so it isn’t lost, I have linked to the site on FamilyArrested so that people who need this kind of support will be able to easily locate this site.
As a survivor myself of incest/rape I know just how alone sexual abuse survivors are. Especially when there is no one to talk to or even anyone who believes you.
Having worked with victims of sexual abuse, and having been frustrated to the maximum in unsuccessfully trying to get some of the perps arrested, tried and sent to prison for what they had done, I applaud this site for being there for these survivors. I muddled through years of pain and shame because of my own abuse, and I think I have finally come to acceptance that it was in no way my fault, that I was not to blame, and that it doesn’t really make any difference of anyone believes me or not, the truth is the truth, if no one believes it.
An illustration I have frequently used to illustrate this point (though actually it isn’t totally true as there were a few others who also believed the world was round) is about Columbus, who thought the world was round, in a time when most Europeans thought it was flat, the fact that their beliefs were the majority in his culture and accepted as fact, and that he was ridiculed for his belief in a round world, did not change the shape of the globe of our world.
Unfortunately many times it is difficult for us to be the only one to validate our own truths, the things that we know to be FACTS. Sexual abuse is fraught with shame as well, and I have counseled those whose entire family were sexually abusing several members. One member of that family took her own life, and one of the sons who was abused lived in shame his entire life until he eventually realized and accepted that the shame was not his, it was his parents and his older brother’s shame. The fact that they did not recognize or acknowledge this shame, or feel it, does not mean that the man should go on feeling that shame.
It really doesn’t matter if abuse is sexual or emotional or physical, abuse wounds us deeply, and if it is abuse at the hands of someone we love (such as a parent, a sibling, a grandparent etc) the abuse is even more wounding because of the betrayal aspect as well as the abuse itself. The site mentions their name which represents Pandora’s box, which when opened released all evil into the world, and when the evil had flown out, only one thing remained in the box, HOPE. And that is the thing that we must hold on to for ourselves, hope for ourselves to heal.
I hope that my readers here will check out this site, even if you are not a sexual abuse survivor, there’s a lot of good information for any survivor. God bless.