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Nov 152014
 
Domestic abuse as dating advice?

Domestic abuse as dating advice?   From the use of ‘coercion and threats’ to ’emotional abuse’, this shocking ‘checklist’ for dating women was posted on Twitter by California ‘pick-up artist’ Julien Blanc. The diagram, featuring three sections entitled ‘physical’, ‘violence’ and ‘sexual’, was originally designed by a domestic abuse charity to help women identify when […]

Sep 202014
 
Catastrophic  Thinking-all or nothing

I recently had to go to a court hearing, nothing criminal, but procedural, and the anticipation of this hearing drove me into a complete panic attack, similar I think to the way that Joyce experienced the anticipation of her son’s last parole hearing. I experienced catastrophic thinking and the anxiety left me barely able to […]

Aug 222013
 
The Trauma Bond

People frequently ask “why does she stay with him when he beats her up? Why doesn’t she just leave?” On the surface it seems so easy, just leave. Get a restraining order. Prosecute him. Get away and stay away from him. Unfortunately, there is an emotional condition called “Stockholm Syndrome” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome  or “trauma bond” http://www.abuseandrelationships.org/Content/Survivors/trauma_bonding.html  […]

Jul 242013
 

I  have a dear friend, I’ll  call her Jane Smith, who is in the fight for her son’s life. Her son’s father physically abused her to the point that she has a permanent restraining order against him, and in her state lives in a “secret” place, with her ex not (supposedly) being able to find […]

Jul 142013
 

Florida Mother Receives 20-Year Sentence For Firing Warning Shots Marissa Alexander of Jacksonville, Fla. was sentenced to 20 years in prison Friday for firing warning shots against her allegedly abusive husband. http://www.buzzfeed.com/hunterschwarz/florida-mother-receives-20-year-sentence-for-firing-warning This is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard and I hope that this woman will be pardoned by the governor or something […]

Jun 202013
 
Appeasement of abusers, an impossible goal

The term appeasement is commonly understood to refer to a diplomatic policy aimed at avoiding war by making concessions to another power. Historian Paul Kennedy defines it as “the policy of settling international quarrels by admitting and satisfying grievances through rational negotiation and compromise, thereby avoiding the resort to an armed conflict which would be […]

Jun 182013
 

Unfortunately the courts don’t seem to get it about domestic abuse. Some of the judges seem to think that just because a man is a serious wife beater, that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to be a “good parent.” I have a friend right now, whose ex husband seriously abused her and in Colorado where […]

Apr 212013
 
Domestic violence--a family affair

Domestic Abuse It is estimated that 90% of all domestic violence and abuse is perpetrated in front of children.  There are a number of “reasons” for this fact that I can directly relate to my own experiences.  A few of the dynamics that result for children who are raised in an environment of domestic violence […]

Apr 182013
 

The literature shows many people indicate their  ex-significant others have been violent, and yet they still have strong feelings for these (mostly) men. The readers find it difficult to go “no contact” and refuse to listen to the pleas of these guys to get back with them. Statistics show that more women are hurt or […]

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