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Sep 122015
 
Enabling hurts everyone involved

I only have to look at my own family to see just how much enabling can hurt others. My maternal grandmother was the child of an abusive alcoholic father and an enabling mother. Her assigned family role was to keep the family secrets and pretend that “everything was lovely” no matter how bad it was. […]

Dec 022014
 
Trying to help those who won't help themselves

    Throughout my lifetime, I’ve frequently felt compelled to “help” people, regardless of what type of help they might have needed. Given my dysfunctional and abusive childhood, that compulsion to “fix” or “help” became a personal pathology. I truly believed that I could “help” others reach their true potential, because the responsibility to “fix” […]

Jun 242013
 

As a retired registered nurse practitioner with certification in Family Practice, and in my several years of working in the mental health field, in both in and out-patient settings, and in my personal life, I have seen these relationships and the “abused abuser” who has lost the war with the other abuser. Dr. Eric Berne, […]

Jun 202013
 
Appeasement of abusers, an impossible goal

The term appeasement is commonly understood to refer to a diplomatic policy aimed at avoiding war by making concessions to another power. Historian Paul Kennedy defines it as “the policy of settling international quarrels by admitting and satisfying grievances through rational negotiation and compromise, thereby avoiding the resort to an armed conflict which would be […]

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