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Jul 292013

I just read an amazing article at the blog of wildninja…hers is an amazing blog

This article is quite long, but very very well written and I encourage people to read the entire article, here is a short clip from it. It concerns people who “justify” or ATTEMPT to justify domestic violence by using  a short quote from the Bible out of context.
One of the things I have found on my own road to healing is that people who try to justify whatever perverse  thing  by quoting scripture out of context are not people that can be reasoned with. They use the name of God, Jesus and the words in the Bible, always taken out of context, to justify their own perversity.

Many people reading this have experienced family violence. I grew up in a household that justified certain evils on the basis that those acts were “justified” by Scripture. The household atmosphere my siblings and I experienced as tweens and teens was one of psychological terrorism with splashes of physical violence called “discipline.” The psychological abuse continued into adulthood as demands for us and our spouses to “recognize the proper biblical authorities in our lives” continued.I am not entirely opposed to spanking small children. I was opposed to being an awkward teen girl having welts going down the backs of my thighs that couldn’t be hidden by gym shorts in PE class. I was opposed to the surprise attacks from which my siblings ran away bleeding. Growing up we kids didn’t know that what was happening to us could be construed as abuse. But we knew in our hearts that the “punishment” was often irrational and based on perceived offenses rather than reality. It was mostly about satisfying someone else’s need for control rather than our Heavenly Father wanting us to travel the straight and narrow.This so-called “Christian” Domestic Discipline walks the same narcissistic, misguided line as what we experienced. Christian wives are said to enter into consensual agreements with their husbands to allow the husband to discipline the wife. This means that the husband can inflict hands on punishment as if the wife is a bratty little kid– he can spank her, put her in time out, take away privileges, gag her, and indulge in various other ways of “keeping her in line.”

No person who is a true Christian focuses on abusing and controlling their spouse or their children or any one else for that matter. Jesus said to parents to bring the children up in nurture, and to not provoke your children to wrath ( rage filled anger) and husbands are the head of the house, but to love their wives even as they love themselves….not to dictate and abuse the wife.
I hope you will read Ninja’s article in full…she is such an awesome writer.

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  5 Responses to “The Bible as an excuse for domestic violence”

  1. Joyce, the first violent exspath OFTEN used my spiritual/religious beliefs to accomplish his goals. He would frequently refer to our marriage vows as something that God had mandated by saying, “You promised to OBEY me. God only loves those who OBEY.” Well, enough years of that claptrap and I truly and honestly believed that I was AT FAULT for feeling abused and used by my spouse.

    Spiritual abuse is deadly because the roots of religion run very, very deep and are, most often, MORE important than our own healthy Self-isms. What God thinks of us is vastly more important that what we even think of ourselves, and “bad people” and human predators use this to their advantage.


  2. I hope you read that entire blog of wildninja, she is awesome. Yes, spiritual abuse is terrible and it was only a few years ago that I realized my mother had spiritually abused me as well. I think back at the anger I felt and the fear and hurt it caused and I didn’t realize it was abuse either. I realize now it was all about CONTROL cloaked in religious beliefs.

  3. I honestly believe that abusive people, be it mothers, fathers, husbands or whatever, will use whatever means they can to control their victims.

    Whatever you hold dear, they will find a way to twist it around to suit their needs and control you. It may be all they have, but if it works, they will use it as long as they can against you. They can always find something in writing to take out of context. Because it is in the Bible, it mus be even more powerful.

  4. Yea, Pixie you are right, they use WHATEVER you hold dear…hostage…to gain their control over you. It is very sad though that so many of these “right wing” nut jobs use religion, regardless of what type of religion it is…look at that Jeffs guy who had the 70 child brides. Even from prison he controls his flock….and how about t hose Amish that were convicted to hate crimes for holding down people who didn’t agree with them and cutting their beards and hair which is important to those people who are Amish. All about control.

  5. My belief is that spiritual/religious abuse is the most effective in setting a victim up. It may not be the most prevalent form in the dynamics, but it sets the stage for the whole dismantling process.

    What’s the first thing that an invading and conquering group does to a vanquished population? REMOVE BELIEFS SYSTEMS. Whether the vanquished peoples’ rituals and practices are banned, made illegal, or simply disdained, that is the first thing to go. Take away a population’s source of comfort, guidance, and ethereal answers, and fill that void in with new beliefs.

    Spiritual abuse has always existed, and it will continue to exist as long as human beings are still flourishing on the planet. Being aware of what it is, what it looks like, and what the consequences are can help me to maintain my boundaries with others, and myself.

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