The Huffington Post recently printed an exceptional article about a new book called The Narcissist Next Door, and gave the major ways the author advised in how to deal with these individuals.
Narcissists are the kudzu of the human condition — a rapidly proliferating species that shows up anywhere, thrives everywhere and resists all attempts to wipe them out. There are a lot of reasons for that: They’re charismatic, articulate and often brilliant. They have the power to charm the pants off of you — sometimes literally — which means they breed a lot, leaving plenty of little narcissists behind. (And yes, there’s a genetic component to the condition.)
What this means is that you are all but certain to encounter narcissists, at any given time, on any given day. The question is how to deal with them. Here are five places narcissists lurk — and what you should do when you find them.
Narcissism used to be listed in the DSM-4 and previously as a “personality” disorder, separate from others. Now in DSM V it is seen as a symptom of other problems, such as Anti Social Personality Disorder (essentially a Psychopath.)
Many if not most personality disordered individuals seem to be very narcissistic, and many times also very glib and superficial, other times they come across as “know it all bullies.”
I went over to Amazon to check out the new book mentioned in the article and I found literally dozens of books on how to deal with these individuals, and of course the internet is filled with web pages advising how to deal with them. (including this one) Many sites are written or hosted by former victims of these individuals and have some sage advice from a personal stand point.
My own biological father, also a psychopath, was one of the most narcissistic individuals I have ever had the displeasure to meet. Even in magazine and news articles when he was interviewed he would pontificate that he was the “smartest man who ever lived.” In one article in the 1970s published in the Arkansas Gazette, he even compared himself to the only “man” in the world who was trapped on an “island” with nothing but “malicious chimpanzees” (the rest of human kind) he was so far above the rest of us. He actually thought that because of his pontifications that people would admire him and wish they were him. Little did he know. As Dr. Robert Hare points out in his research and writings, psychopaths and raging narcissists don’t “get it” that their behavior doesn’t endear them to anyone.
My own son Patrick is a clone of my biological father whom he has never met, but who he admires greatly from reading about him. My father out of his four children had three that went no contact with him and turned out pretty okay, and a forth that is a clone of “daddy-dearest.”
Between the article at Huff, and the plethora books available at Amazon, there’s really not much use in me adding to this supply of advice. Dr. Hare’s book, Snakes in Suits, when Psychopaths go to work is another great source of advice to those afflicted with dealing with these people. Unfortunately, as the first article points out, there will not be a shortage of these individuals in the history of humanity, and many of them rise to the corner office, the bench, or the congress, and even the presidency of this country and of others.
The offenders in the bunch are not always prosecuted, but those who are prosecuted for felony crimes, are all pretty much high in the psychopathic traits and narcissism that goes along with it, with a full 25 percent of felony inmates (or former inmates) are full-on psychopaths. So if at all possible, this is at least one segment of this group of disordered people we need to “steer clear of.”