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Sep 252013

I think it is bad enough when your adult child kills even one person, but at least the world doesn’t come knocking on your door, and you don’t see their photo on every news show and every newspaper you pick up. But to have your son or daughter vilified as a murdering terrorist who guns down innocent people by the dozen, that’s another story entirely. I can only imagine how this woman’s father must feel. My sympathy and prayers go out to him and his family, including h is 85 year old mother who is distraught enough to be admitted to the hospital for the grief and stress.

One wonders why this young girl became enmeshed in the whole thing to start with…why she was vulnerable to the violent Muslim sect that she married into, then continued to play an active role in. In a group that gives women few freedoms, why was she allowed to actually lead terror attacks?

Many questions arise from this horrible case, but there are probably going to be few answers, especially if she was killed in the attacks to reclaim the mall. Why would a middle class girl raised in Great Britain want to gun down Christian men and women? Why is there still intolerance and prejudice against other religious? Some of the articles about her say that she started to “go off” after her parents’ divorce, but with millions of kids of divorced parents, most if not the majority do fine in society, why did she of all people go rabid?

My prayers go out to the families of the men, women and children who were gunned down just for not being Muslim, or for being Americans. Every time something like this happens it makes each of us feel less safe. I spent some time in Kenya in the mid 1960s and have kept up with the violence in those areas now. Many, if not all , of the 36 different countries in Africa in which I visited  in the mid-1960s during an incarnation as a wild animal photographer, have fallen prey to violence and Muslim atrocities. I would no longer feel safe in going to any of those African countries today.

The father of White Widow Samantha Lewthwaite is appalled by the idea that his daughter may have masterminded the massacre in the Kenyan mall, neighbours have said.
Former soldier Andy Lewthwaite came face to face with the toll of terror attacks when he served in Northern Ireland at the height of the Troubles in the 1970s.
Now he is struggling to come to terms with allegations that his daughter – already the world’s most wanted woman – was behind the attack that has killed more than 60 people in Westgate shopping centre in Nairobi.
A neighbour told the Daily Mirror: ‘Andy is aware of how appalling indiscriminate shootings are.
‘For him to imagine his own daughter is involved in this is very painful.
‘He has been very dignified… his daughter is apparently tarnishing both his reputation and his country’s reputation.’
Their comments come after it emerged that Lewthwaite’s frail 85-year-old grandmother has been admitted to hospital because of the stress of her granddaughter’s notoriety.
Elizabeth Allen, from Banbridge, Co Down, was given a panic alarm to contact security services in case terror suspect Lewthwaite ever made contact.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2431526/Samantha-Lewthwaite-The-shame-White-Widows-father-fought-terrorism-British-soldier-Northern-Ireland.html#ixzz2fvDvgQhO

I pray also for the family of this woman for the all too public shame and pain they must be experiencing, but I in no way blame them for the sins of their daughter, however horrible. In the end we are each only responsible for our own actions.

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  45 Responses to “When your child becomes a monster The "White Widow"

  1. Yea, Phoenix, that VALIDATION by someone else that we are not crazy can come to be super super SUPER DUPER important to us….and of course we must learn to validate ourselves, not wait for someone else to save us or validate us.

    Like I’ve said before when Columbus thought the world was round, nearly everyone else thought it was flat, but it didn’t change the shape of the world, he sailed off and proved to himself it was round…though he actually didn’t end up in India where he thought he was. LOL The point is that if he had gone with the general consensus, he would NEVER HAVE SAILED. We have to validate our own truth, and SET SAIL~

  2. Joyce & Phoenix, I agree that validation is important – that’s why this site and 180rule.com exists, along with many, many others.

    What I learned about myself in therapy is that I had never experienced validation, as a child, and this carried over into my adult life. Because that “inner child” needed validation and not only never experienced it, but was dismissed, this became a big draw for toxic people where I was concerned. “JUST ‘like’ me, and I’ll tolerate anything!” was pretty much my approach.

    Once I read “Healing The Shame That Binds You,” I got this concept of the wounded “inner child” running the show. I learned that I had the ability to validate myself, first, and NOT concern myself with people liking me, or not. It was so very, very important that people “like” me because, if they DID, I believed that they wouldn’t abandon me, hurt me, abuse me, dismiss me, etc……..this gave everyone else The Power over my own beliefs, emotions, and options.

    OxD, I really like your statement, “We have to validate our own truth, and SET SAIL.” This needs to be a personal mantra for me, I think. And, a bumper sticker. 😉

  3. ANOTHER CASE: The father of a woman recently arrested for murder, who claims to have killed 22 people as part of a “satanic cult” speaks out about his daughter.


    The father of this young woman seems to have “her number” about her manipulative behavior. It also sounds like he did his best when his teenaged daughter decided on a life of drugs and violence. (sigh) I can definitely understand his angst. He is unfortunately, among the many parents of people who have committed horrific crimes.

    At the time Patrick was arrested I didn’t know if he even could be executed, but even after I knew he had killed Jessica, I think I would have “died” if he had been sent to Death Row.

    While I am now against the death penalty because of the large number of INNOCENT people who have been released off death row by the various Innocence Projects using DNA to prove that these people were not only “not guilty” but actually INNOCENT of the crimes they were given live without parole or the death penalty for. This case is pretty cut and dried that she is actually guilty though, but I think if we have the death penalty for even OBVIOUSLY guilty people, then we also will have it for people who are wrongly convicted.

    Though now, knowing what I do, I would actually feel safer if Patrick was executed, it has taken me a long time to come to that conclusion and to disengage emotionally from my psychopathic son. I do know the pain the parents of this woman must be feeling though, and I found the comments to this article also interesting.

  4. I just read an article ab out a 10 year old boy who beat a woman to death and the parents do not want him back home.


    I have a “sneaking suspicion” that the parents have a budding psychopath on their hands, but the doctors will call it “conduct disorder” or “oppositional definance disorder” because you cannot diagnose a psychopath until age 18…but they must have had conduct problems PRIOR to age 15….

    when I worked in an inpatient facility for kids I saw kids like this that were totally out of control except for brute force. Kids that I would never have gone to sleep in the house with that child on the loose. They actually displayed “duping delight” at their antics. I have also known some kids socially who also displayed these symptoms. The son of a friend of my husband’s fell into this category.

    I do not blame these parents for not taking “junior” home.

  5. so much is in the news lately of “ordinary” children who become radicalized religious and politically going to fight for ISIS etc and the recent attacks in Paris by some of these individuals, by the articles about the 13 year old girl and her 18 yr old BF who are doing a “bonnie and clyde” act across the US…but this article sort of hit me as the level of denial that parents can have over the behavior of these semi- or actually adult offspring.

    This Wednesday Jan. 14, 2015 photo made available by the Butler County Jail shows Christopher Lee Cornell. Cornell plotted to attack the U.S. Capitol in Washington and kill government officials inside it and spoke of his desire to support the Islamic State militant group, the FBI said on Wednesday. (AP Photo/Butler County Jail)

    CINCINNATI (AP) — A 20-year-old Ohio man arrested in an FBI sting and charged with plotting to set off bombs at the U.S. Capitol and shoot government officials is scheduled to make his first appearance in court.

    Christopher Lee Cornell, described by his father as “a mommy’s boy” who lived with his parents in suburban Cincinnati and previously showed little direction, is scheduled to appear in federal court on Friday afternoon.

    Cornell was arrested Wednesday and charged with plotting to attack the Capitol with pipe bombs and guns. The arrest came after he posted on Twitter his support for Muslim terrorists and then showed his plans to an FBI informant who contacted him via the social-media platform, according to court documents.

    Cornell’s father, John Cornell, said his son was taken in by a “snitch” who was trying to help himself.

    “I’m going to fight this,” John Cornell said. “But I’m afraid they’re going to throw the book at him.”


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