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A modern parable — 5 Comments

  1. Joyce, these parables and mythologies are the only things that come close to really relating the experience of an encounter with liars, deceivers and betrayers.

    A predator is going to use predatory tactics. That means that it tailors it’s predation to the prey’s vulnerability. In this case the snake knew that the chief had a kind and honest character. So he used the pity ploy.

    Most of the abusers in my life, used the pity ploy on me. In most cases, there was rarely very much damage done even when they pulled the rug out. That’s because they were preparing me for the final and ultimate discard. They wanted me to think that I could “handle” anything they could throw at me so that I would continue to accept their BS. In the end, the plan was my death and the only reason I escaped was because I finally saw that nothing was as it seemed.

    The snakes in my life were never really injured, they never really needed my help. The intent, from the beginning was to bite me and insert their poison.

    • Joyce, a terrific parable on every level.

      Sky, 100% spot-on. Predators are predators are predators……..they ARE what they ARE, no matter how badly anyone wants them to be something OTHER than what they ARE.

      ****CAPS intended for emphasis, only.****

      I am also very cautious of pity ploys, and I have made myself VERY cautious about weaving my own – I’ve recently had an issue pop up that I was not expecting. Whether this gets addressed, or not, creates fear for me. Well, that’s kinda too bad because things in Life don’t always go smoothly. SO, I have to be very cautious about how and when I discuss my personal challenges.

      You are absolutely spot-on when you type, “The snakes in my life were never really injured, they never really needed my help. The intent, from the beginning was to bite me and insert their poison.” YES. It’s the INTENT to harm that is always present.

      Regardless of what challenges I’m facing, I’m grateful as all hayell that we are ALL out of our toxic, poisonous, and potentially lethal situations.

  2. When I was responding to some of the posts on the pseudo-victim, it made me think of this story again, and I started to post it as a comment, then I thought, you know I think that concept is imoprtant enough that we need to get that last line tattoo’d on our wrists–YOU KNEW WHAT I WAS WHEN YOU PICKED ME UP.

    Sometimes we might pick up a small “snake” that didn’t look threatening and help it, and it might turn out too be as poison as the rattle snake, but when we pick up something we KNOW is poison and then believe its promise that “Oh, I won’t bite you” we deceive ourselves.

    Now when I encounter someone who says they are a victim, or a former victim, I do feel empathy for them, until such time that I see that they are a “pseudo-victim” and only posing as a victim as a pity ploy, which many of them are excellent at.that game.

    If someone by their character has demonstrated that they will bite others, they will eventually bite you. And no matter how nice you are to a rattle snake, all the love in the world isn’t going to make it grow fur and love you like a puppy. People have a capacity to change, but few have the desire, so until proven otherwise, I use “past behavior” as the indicator of what I can expect in the future from that person. And if I know it is a snake, I will NOT pick it up, no matter what the pitiful story is

  3. You knew what I was when you picked me up

    Too many times in life we try to look past the obvious, believe things could be different if only…. and hold out hope for the wrong things, wrong reasons and wrong ideas

  4. Phoenix, that’s the thing, is that when we KNOW what something/someone is and we then choose for whatever reason to discount that knowledge and go on and “pick them up” KNOWING they are poison, knowing they are dangerous, but somehow convincing ourselves that they might be poison, and have bitten others, but they would NEVER BITE US…that somehow we are special to them.

    Just as a person who dates another person who they know is married, and then expects that the person will never cheat on THEM just their current spouse, they knew what the person was when they picked them up…or in my case I dated a guy who though was divorced HAD cheated on his previous wife…I tried my best to think he would not cheat on ME, well of course I soon found out that I was mistaken…fortunately before I married him.

    So many times we discount EVIDENCE that someone is dangerous but for reasons of our own needs we go ahead anyway and have dealings with that person. I’ve picked up more than my share of snakes in my time, knowing they were snakes, but I’m finally realizing that it doesn’t pay, it NEVER pays. By cutting the people who are not honest out of my life, by getting rid of the “snakes” my life is much more calm and peaceful. Even a poison snake is no danger if you are not close to him. Keeping the poison, toxic, dishonest people at a distance does the same thing, it keeps them from being a danger to you.

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