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Finding strength when there are dark days — 4 Comments

  1. Sometimes when life throws curve balls, we do lose faith, in everything.
    We are undermined mind, body and soul.
    It is important that we remember that there is a bigger plan. And whatever the belief…..we are not in control.
    We can continue to go in the direction seeking goodness and living well…..right is right, wrong is wrong…..and the darkness lifts.
    This is faith.
    We must know…..tomorrow will always arrive….with or without us.

    • Welcome to FamilyArrested, Brock. Yes, there is a bigger plan and we can choose not to live in the darkness. My hope is that FA will be a light for families with troubled members. Again, welcome.

  2. In dealing with my eldest son, my faith is what kept me from buying in to his nonsense and behaviors, I think.

    “False hope” has nothing to do with “faith.” False hope is a form of denial that my son was going to do the right thing because it was the Right Thing To Do. His behaviors were clearly oppositionally defiant, and he had NO intention of “Doing The Right Thing,” regardless of how much damage his choices caused. UGH…..

    That was the hardest and most bitter pill for me to swallow, but it was either that or pretend that he was going to be just fine and spend my time in Juvenile Court until he turned 18 when we could graduate to Big People’s Court……

  3. Well, I spent my time in juvenile court and spent my time after he turned 18, driving 400 miles to visit him as often as I could in Big Boy’s Prison, and faithfully wrote him almost every day, ordered books for him and sent commissary money on a regular basis. I was “supportive” of my son and I hoped it would show him that he had a loving family when he got out, that he could still go to college, finish up his pilot’s license and anything else he wanted to do.

    I too held out “hope” a false hope that I now term “malignant hope” because it is so toxic it eats you like a cancer from the inside out and destroys your life. Consumes you.

    I know that there are some kids who do come out of juvenile lock up improved and “scared straight but all prison and juvenile jail had done for him was give him a “masters degree in criminal attitude” Now after 20+ years in big boy prison he has a PhD and post doctoral studies as well.

    It’s hard to know when to “give up” and leave them to God.

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