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I am not alone-every murderer has parents — 3 Comments

  1. Joyce, this article is extremely painful to me, personally. You wrote it so eloquently, “I wish I could reach out to each person who is bonded to violent partners or who have children who are violent……” If only. If only.

    I may “love” what I remember about my son, Mike, as that beautiful infant and toddler, but I do not know or love the adult that he has developed into. The concept of “loving the sinner and hating the sin” is something that I cannot wrap my head around, and I doubt that I ever will. The “sinner” committed the “sins” with knowledge, aforethought, and malicious intent. Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but deliberate machinations and deliberately harming other human beings isn’t a “Hall Pass” to be love-able, IMHO.

    This article is so painful to read, and my responses to the content are feelings of despair and acceptance. Despair because too many people are wasted – the victims, the perps, the family members of the victim and perp, and the friends OF both families……..it’s all so horribly wrong. Acceptance because people are what they are and will do what they do, and I do not have the power or control to wish away “bad people” and turn them into “good people.”

    Eugh………this poor father……….may he find some glimmer of hope and peace for his tortured soul.

  2. Yea, you know, I thank God every day that I am not in Charity Lee’s shoes, or this man’s shoes, my situation is not the “worst” that could have happened. I could be looking at the inside lid of my coffin or he could have had one or both boys killed. Andrew almost “bought the farm” and I think that that big hunk with a gun and one jacked into the chamber pushing on the door scared the carp out of Andrew. He’s strong like a weight lifter, part genetics and part hard labor, but he must have had super human strength to keep that door shut and call 911.

    This family’s situation is terrible, the suicides as well as what sounds like a psychopathic son who beat and stalked the girl, but also she was involved, not realizing that she was risking her life by staying with him. There but for the grace of God go we.

  3. Joyce, yes – reading this story just breaks my heart. I can “imagine” how this man might feel, but I don’t have a personal frame of reference. I hope that he gets some supportive counseling – I really, REALLY do.

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