I received the following e mail today from a friend of mine who has a daughter who is a psychopath, totally without remorse. My friend is raising her grandson, a special needs child, the son of her daughter. She lives near the area where this crime happened. She writes:
I am ashamed of myself that since the school shooting, here in our area, I have felt conflicted about this young man. From all I read and heard, I could not wrap my brain around him being a psychopath. I was giving him very misguided benefit of the doubt and thought he may be EXTREMELY mentally ill.
He was sentenced today – I WAS WRONG – a psychopath through and through – evil – through and through Read the news report –
A month ago he plead guilty, against the advice of his counsel. His demeanor in court has always been timid and quiet. When he plead guilty, he answered the judge with “yes, your honor or no, your honor” There was never a hint of any of what he showed today, never. I believed he was pleading guilty to save his family and the victims families from the agony of a trial. His 19 year old brother had killed himself in November, trying to deal with this.
I knew his father had a record, including DV on either the mom or his second wife. TJ’s assault (JV charge), according to the deputies happened when he tried to pull his father off his brother, while the old man was beating the brother. Father insisted TJ be arrested for assault.
TJ lived with grandparents, who from gossip seem to be pretty upstanding people, as are some of his aunts and uncles who live in the community. And as I said his older brother, the one that was getting beat up by the dad committed suicide.
This is either the REAL HIM – EVIL or he is trying for some sort of “insanity” issue again. Don’t know which, but any amount of sympathy or empathy I ever had is GONE.
I am so sickened – share this on your site
I also found another article about Lane
Wiki tells the more of the story, including that Lane came from a disturbed family and that his father had spent time in prison for attempted murder, and Lane himself had been arrested for participating in an assault.
This young man was in an “alternative” school for students who do not do well in traditional schools, so someone had to know this young man was filled with rage. Just as the Adam Lanza massacre was a total shock to the town, Adam’s mother knew her son had problems and apparently was seeking a solution for him, some school he could attend. Unfortunately, she was not capable of controlling Adam, and paid for it with her life as his first victim.
I was struck by the comment of Lane’s sister that this is not the brother she knew. Not only did Lane destroy several families by murdering or injuring their children, he “murdered” himself as well.
The families of the killed and injured are suffering and will continue to suffer the loss of their former relationships, but can find an end to their grief and come to acceptance and resolution with the deaths.
While T. J. Lane came from a family in which violence and dysfunction seems to have been more the “norm” than not, even a dysfunctional family such as this must have friends or family members who find what Lane did reprehensible. Those innocent family members will forever be tarred with the same brush as the rest of his family as violent and criminal.
In a way, I was fortunate that my son’s crimes were in another state and the community didn’t know about my son being in prison, much less what he did. When distant relatives would ask where he was I would say “Oh, he lives in Texas, he works for the State of Texas.” Though intended to deceive, I thought to myself it wasn’t a “real lie, because he did live in Texas and he did work for the State as all inmates had to have a job.
Now I no longer lie if someone asks me about my kids…but even people that I have known for decades are made very uncomfortable by my telling them “Oh, Patrick’s in prison in Texas for murder.” People don’t know what to say. If I told them he was dead they would know what to say, but not when I tell them he is in prison. Of course, I don’t share this with casual strangers, but with my neighbors and extended family, I no longer lie.
I pray for the families of the victims of this young man, and I pray for those of his family who are disturbed and disgusted by what Lane did that they may all come eventually to a peaceful acceptance of what is.
Joyce Alexander, RNP retired