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Mother turns in hit-and-run driver — 9 Comments

  1. Good for her. Yay Mom!

    It was an accident, meaning only that he probably didn’t mean to kill anyone, but… He chose to drink, he chose to drive, now he needs to own up to what he has done. He made a bad choice and it caused a wave of grief and heartache in the lives of several others as an effect.

  2. Oh, I agree….and that young man who did a hit and run that killed a man made a “video confession” and plead guilty in court against the advice of his attorneys. He got I think 7 years in prison but he did the RIGHT thing. This mother did the RIGHT thing….and you know, that’s what all of us should do. Yet I know too many parents who protect their kids when they KNOW of a crime they have committed.

  3. I read an article today about a couple who found that their 13-year-old son had suddenly become filled with rage and planned to do a “school shooting” and went to the police with this information.

    I applaud these parents for not sweeping this under the rug and for seeking serious help.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2611775/Heartbroken-parents-school-shooter-list-targets-reveal-heartbreak-reporting-son-police.html

    The young man had been bullied at school and did not know how to resolve this and became filled with rage at the bullies.

    Bullying in schools is always to one degree or another going to be in schools because there are always going to be bullies, or would be bullies, but this kind of behavior MUST BE STOPPED. It is up to the teachers, school officials, the public and parents to watch for this kind of abuse of kids by other kids.

    And of course kids react differently to being bullied. Many do NOT strike back, or go into a rage and kill their tormenters. I was seriously bullied in the second grade by a kid who eventually broke my jaw with a coke bottle and the fact of that made it become apparent to the teacher and my parents. I reacted by feeling ASHAMED that I was being bullied. Just as many abused wives feel ashamed that their husband abuses them.

    It’s a shame that this child’s parents didn’t know he was being bullied, and my guess is that he was ashamed to tell them. It is also possible that their way of handling disagreements at home contributed to his lack of skills at coping with the bullies.

    I am just very glad that this young man got the help he needed before he did something horrible.

    • Joyce, you know, nobody wants to believe that their child – their offspring – is capable of harming another human being. No parent looks at their newborn infant and says, “I know you’re going to make me proud and be the greatest psychopath in History.” Of course, some people reproduce for the sole purpose of creating objects, but even THESE people don’t want their children acting-out because it would interrupt whatever THEY were doing. So……..yeah………

      Bullying cannot be stopped, IMHO, via wishful thinking, “sensitivity awareness” classes, or expecting a bullied child to “tell someone” what’s being done to them. Whenever I “told” someone about the abuse and neglect that I was experiencing within my own family, the response was typically pity combined with a sense of MY being somehow responsible for the abuse and neglect. At times, the response was, “…you’re just TOO SENSITIVE…you’ve got to toughen up to survive in this world!” Which is precisely what I did – I “toughened up” and shoved all of my feelings DOWN and pretended that I could handle anything………..up until 2011. LMAO!!!!!!

      So, I can see how a child goes off the deep end, and I can only applaud those parents that recognize that their children are disturbed and/or suffering and take action to get the help that their children desperately need.

  4. Kids soooooo want to “fit in” to the group of their peers, and if they are “different” in some way either a large or small way, just as chickens peck and kill the weaker of their number, kids peck on the weakest members of their groups and hurt them emotionally or physically or both.

    I remember the book the “Lord of the Flies” which looked at this tendency for kids to torment the weaker members, and especially when there is a group mentality. I am reading a very interesting book now about how we as humans behave differently in relationships as one or two people together versus group-think. Group think is what causes wars, lynchings, gangs, etc. and one statement in that book struck me very profoundly, it was “the bigger the mob, the more brutal the lynching.”

    While an abusive relationship between two people such as a husband and wife is terrible, when you multiply that equation by many people abusing others it becomes Nazi Germany, or the Japanese occupation of Korea and parts of china, or Stalin and Mao and results in the abuse and deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocents.

    It is going on all over the world today as well. While our society is far from perfect and there are many kinds of abuse here from family abuse to KKK and nut job killings, we in the US are more fortunate than many people in many parts of the world.

    We can make a choice of who we marry and how we live…and choose to not allow bullying from those closest to us. That is a blessing we should not take for granted.

    • Joyce, 100% spot-on. I read “Lord Of The Flies,” years ago, and saw the movie after I had read the book. It really, REALLY disturbed me to my very core.

      And, “group think” is very interesting as a field of study. I took a couple of years of sociology in college, and it was fascinating and utterly terrifying, at the same time. There were “good” studies about how people could be moved to affect positive changes, and there were more “bad” studies about that group-think situation that result in lynchings, bullying, etc. There develops a FEAR of being outed by the group and shunned or punished if there are differing opinions. And, the people who stand up and say, “Hey………this is utterly WRONG!” often end up being punished for refusing to move with the herd.

      For me, I won’t allow abuse to gain a foothold in my life, ever again. It may creep around and test my boundaries, but I have options, now. I have choices. And, I am opting to be a survivor – a calm, healthy, and insightful survivor. Lots of work to get there! 😀

  5. What former victims do in going “no contact” with an offender is essentially “shunning” which some religious sects do to members who violate their rules to live by. Jesus said we should not have contact with people who have “sinned against us” and who after talking to them will not listen or repent, and when the church (community) is also not listened to and the person will not stop their offending ways we are not even to eat with them. If that doesn’t describe No Contact I don’t know what does.

    Solitary confinement in prison is dreaded by even the most ruthless convicts, and essentially that is “shunning” so that no matter what they do or say no one notices or cares. They become less than human because there is no one to converse with to get feed back from, etc.

    It isn’t easy to see how important no contact with offenders is in allowing ourselves to heal.

    If someone DOES truly repent and does their best to make ammends that is one thing, but if not, we must avoid them.

  6. Here’s another article about a mother and grandmother doing the RIGHT THING in dealing with a 15 year old criminal…will it “do any good?” That’s a BIG question….

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2634552/People-work-hard-stuff-somebody-going-shoot-Teen-boy-turned-police-mother-dressing-gets-grandmother-worse.html

    There has been a lot of research about how parents have little influence over kids in relationship to the amount of influence their peers have…plus kids do not have brain maturity until about age 25, so are not working with “good judgment” or the ability to see the long term consequences of their actions.

    It’s tough to have your kid “in the SYSTEM” and the courts, but it is the only chance they have to not end up a career criminal doing “life” in installments of 2 to 20 years. Or wind up like my son, Patrick.

    I know from personal experience it is difficult to turn your kid in, or to support the law when you watch your kid go inside a jail facility where “God only knows” what will happen to him or here in there.

    My prayers are for all the mothers and fathers dealing with offending young people and doing their best to get the kids to “straighten up and fly right” as my dad used to say.

  7. I guess by now about everyone has heard of the “virgin killer” who went on a rampage because girls didn’t like him, killing several innocent people and injuring others. His parents warned the police he was up to no good but the police ignored their information and didn’t even check his internet rampages and threats, dropping the ball big time.

    The parents of this killer are as devastated as those who lost their own children in his rampage. I wish I could put my arms around them and comfort them. When your child or loved one commits some horrible crime, such as murder, it is impossible to reconcile with our wishes for that person’s happy life instead of prison or death. My prayers go out for these parents.

    EXCLUSIVE: Parents of virgin killer who slayed six are ‘crippled by guilt and are mourning the victims MORE than their own son’

    Peter and Chin Rodger are more distraught about the deaths of their son’s six victims, a close friend told MailOnline
    The friend added that Elliot Rodger was always quiet and on his own
    On the day of the killings, his parents rushed to find him after receiving his manifesto but heard about his shooting spree on the radio

    By Will Payne In Los Angeles

    Published: 06:59 EST, 27 May 2014 | Updated: 13:00 EST, 27 May 2014

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    The parents of virgin killer Elliot Rodger are ‘grieving for those innocents who lost their lives, above their own son’, according to a close family friend.

    Peter and Chin Rodger have been ‘crippled by guilt’ since their eldest child went on his bloody rampage on Friday – something they heard unfold on the radio as they raced up to Santa Barbara to be with the disturbed 22-year-old.

    And while they are heartbroken over the loss of their son, they are currently more distraught about the deaths of his six innocent victims.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2640539/Parents-virgin-killer-slayed-six-crippled-guilt-friend-says.html

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