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Psychopaths have no shame or remorse — 14 Comments

  1. You know I think Bill cosby is also an example of this lack of remorse or accepting responsibility for his crimes.

    What is almost (but not quite) funny about Susan smith, is that she is still spouting the same thing of she intended to kill herself instead of the boys. LOL

    • Joyce, what an interesting discussion about Smith and narcissism. She never had any remorse, and she doesn’t today. What she has is a desire to get out of prison, if she can. But……..since she’s still getting attention, it really doesn’t matter WHERE she is, I suppose.

      The day I saw Smith give her first news conference, I said to my mother that she was responsible for their disappearance. She went through the motions of crying, but not one tear slid down her face. She “sobbed” and made noise, but she did NOT cry.

      Killing herself is still a possibility? Well, WHY didn’t she do that, years ago, instead of murdering two children? The threat of suicide infuriates me when it is clearly meant as a manipulation. Don’t threaten. Just do it. Save the taxpayers some money…………

      The same thing happened when I called out the female ex-con that lives down the road after I learned that she had told EVERYONE that she knew about my financial status – this was a year before I discovered what the exspath had been doing. Well………she came to my home, and went through the same motions of crying – the audible sobbing and shoulders shaking……..dabbing at her eyes when not a BIT of water welled up.

      I have no doubt that Smith and the ex-convict are both psychopaths. Their narcissistic behaviors are pretty grim and very telling. But, the absence of ANY compassion, empathy, remorse, or conscience points towards psychopathology.

      Ugh……..what a pair

      • Oh, and I believe that Cosby is just as much of a psychopath as Smith is. Just because he hasn’t murdered anyone does NOT mean that he’s less of a threat. There are many different ways to “kill” a person without committing murder………..killing the soul, for instance……..


  2. Yes, Smith, like many/most psychopaths keeps telling the same lie over and over when it is OBVIOUS to anyone but her that it IS A LIE…as Dr. Robert Hare pointed out, their left brain and right brain don’t communicate well and because of that they will tell a lie that even a 5 year old wouldn’t believe and then repeat it and repeat it as if telling it over and over will make it more believable. Cosby is the same, repeating the same lie over and over.

    If smith gets out of prison she will be walking on a walker or in a wheel chair, the publicity she got before her arrest made her crime even worse. I am actually surprised that some other inmate hasn’t shanked her as people who hurt or molest children are not popular with other inmates. But frankly I hope she lives a long and miserable life behind bars for what she did to those two sweet little boys.

    The tendency for psychopaths to lie “when the truth would fit better” and just keep repeating that lie is odd to the rest of us I think because WE can see that a particular story would not be believable to non-psychopaths, but psychopaths can’t see how WE think enough to come up with a believable lie.

    Which is one reason that when I catch a person in a lie, I will never trust them again. Some philosopher, can’t remember who, once said “It isn’t that you told a lie that hurts me, it is that I can never believe you again.” (or words to that effect if the quote isn’t 100% right)

    And I am not talking about a “social lie” to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, like “I’d love to come to your party Saturday night, but I have already made plans” Or the old “of course that dress doesn’t make you look fat” LOL

    • Joyce, you wrote, “The tendency for psychopaths to lie “when the truth would fit better” and just keep repeating that lie is odd to the rest of us I think because WE can see that a particular story would not be believable to non-psychopaths, but psychopaths can’t see how WE think enough to come up with a believable lie.” 100% SPOT-ON!

      To me, it’s amazing at how they lie and lie and lie, even if physical evidence proves that they are lying. The second exspath kept lying about his activities, and I kept an inventory of what he had in that nasty gym bag – it was irrefutable proof that he had been going to the Big City and indulging in his deviant fantasies, but he KEPT maintaining that he was sitting at home, watching “things” on the computer, and pleasuring himself, alone. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      They do, indeed, stick to their stories and Smith and Cosby (along with the exspath) are all the same. There don’t need to be bodies in the basement for someone to be a psychopath, and THAT is the fact that we need to accept. Previously, my perception of what a psychopath or sociopath was involved criminals that were in prison. Period. I had NO clear understanding that roughly 20% of the population is devoid of compassion, empathy, remorse, or conscience. For every 100 people I’d pass, that would mean that 20 of them (a whole FIFTH) were some level of sociopath.

      So, coming to the understanding that psychopaths aren’t always behind bars is a huge leap. Accepting that most of the psychopaths commit legal crimes and don’t experience consequences is also another fact that is very hard to accept. We watch programs like Law And Order, or NCIS, and we are led to believe that the bad guys always face consequences, and that just is NOT true.

      Smith will never get out. And, I hope Cosby goes IN.

  3. You know when Patrick was 11 he stole a check out of my purse (made out to me) and traded it and a stolen $20 bill to another kid for a walkman radio that he wanted and I could not afford to buy him. I saw the radio and he told me it was borrowed from a friend, well about a week went by and a kid’s parents called me and told me what their son had confessed to “selling” the radio and they came over, bringing the check and the money and the 5 of us sat down and “talked” and even in spite of the EVIDENCE, the other kid telling the story and the parents there PATRICK KEPT DENYING HE HAD DONE IT….At the time I thought it was very strange and after the parents left, I spanked Patrick for LYING to me. then That night or the next, I don’t remember the exact date, he ran away from home, and I had to turn out the entire county emergency response team to find him 7 miles away from home. I brought him home and blistered his butt for running away and he looked at me with this cold look in his eye (The LOOK) and said “I’ll do it again, you can’t watch me 24 hours a day” and I knew he was right, I couldn’t watch him 24/7.

    I didn’t understand then about the psychopath’s lying IN THE FACE OF THE IRREFUTIABLE EVIDENCE but that strange lying did make an impression on me as STRANGE…of course now I know what it is, but they do NOT understand that we will believe the evidence and not their lie, no matter how many times they repeat it.

    And yet, I DID fall prey to his lies for years after that. Now, if people lie to me for whatever reason (other than the “Does this dress make my butt look big?” In which case they BETTER lie to me. LOL) I will never trust that person again. Looking back I have found that any time someone lied to me, they lied to me again, and anytime someone was nasty to me, they were nasty again. I don’t need that or want that in my life.

    Susan Smith is just so TYPICAL of a psychopath, and I think she thinks that if she tells that lie enough times for another 20 years someone will believe her. That ain’t gonna happen me thinks. LOL

    • Joyce, any parent is going to “fall prey” to the lies of their offspring for some amount of time, at least. It’s only human to want to believe the best about our kids. No parent wakes up and hopes that their child is going to be a psychopath. So…………right…..

      Smith? She’s not getting out of prison, EVER. She’ll likely be buried in the prison cemetery, and there’s no better place for such a cold fish as her. Wasn’t in her right mind? Bullshirt……….she knew exactly what she was doing, what she was saying, the lies that she was telling, etc………..she isn’t daft. She’s just a psychopath.

  4. My step daughter called me yesterday very depressed and hurt by her daughter’s behavior (sounds like borderline PD to me) and the girl is a drama queen for sure, but it goes back several generations in that family so nothing new there…DNA.

    Personally I think the drama will continue on for the life of the two individuals, some people can just never seem to “give up” on that malignant hope that things will get better.

    • Joyce, of all the gifts that I’ve received during this journey of recovery and healing, the ability and willingness to “accept” has probably been the greatest of all.

      I never understood the concept of “acceptance” until I read the psychological definition, and it made such tremendous sense to me at that specific time. I am never obligated to ***like*** whatever it is that I’m choosing to accept – in fact, I often detest whatever it is. BUT……..whatever it is cannot be changed, altered, or redesigned by any means of control that I might believe that I can wield. THIS relieved me of a tremendous burden of imagined control.

      I’m sorry for your step-daughter. Dealing with a borderline is DREADFUL. And, she probably doesn’t even know that interacting with offspring is an OPTION not an OBLIGATION.

      I’ve met a number of people that have bristled when this matter has been brought up for discussion. “But, Truthspeak, they’re my BLOOD! I HAVE to protect and help them!!” I realized that there is simply no possibility of discussion with that kind of rigid mind set. It’s sad because most of the people who are feeling hurt and desperate because of a loved one’s behaviors don’t know that they can live a life without that kind of drama/trauma and anxiety.


  5. You are so right, Truthy, many if not most people don’t KNOW that they have the OPTION of disengaging with a “loved one” who is passive aggressive or offensive and abusive. My step daughter’s dysfunction goes back several generations of DNA and emotional abuse by her own mother and grandmother who were both highly abusive. Right now she is feeling overwhelmed by college (she’s going back for an advanced degree) and her daughter’s passive aggressive behavior. She is reliving her own childhood abuse via her daughter.

    Until someone sees that they have OPTIONS to disengage, there is not much you can accomplish with talking to them. Looking back I realize that no one could have talked me out of “helping” Patrick, I had to finally come to my OWN CONCLUSIONS that he was never going to be “helped” no matter what I did, or thought.

    It goes back to the old “you can lead a horse to water….” bit. and Unfortunately many people never learn and spend lives of misery trying to placate the “loved one.” And it takes a BIG toll on our minds, bodies and lives.

  6. Saw this interesting article about microsoft developing an APP that would predict reoffending in inmates up for parole. I don’t see that there is anyway it would NOT work…if inmates were scanned by fMRI to pick out the psychopaths like my son Patrick it would be simple, don’t release a psychopath who is in for a violent crime. I hope this becomes the gold standard


    • I feel that it would be a GREAT tool, but we know how it really is. People insist – INSIST – that these recidivists can always change, and those of us who have survived our experiences with psychopaths know better.

      I sure hope it DOES become the standard.

  7. I will preface this with saying, I haven’t read the article yet. But I will as soon as I get a chance to catch up.

    It seems the scope of its use might be limited if only used for inmates up for parole. I know spath was interviewed prior to sentencing and based off of limited information gained from that interview and the police report, it was determined he has several salient issues that place him as a high risk to re-offend. No App needed for that one!

    My only guess is that if the person doing the interview had spoken to me about the kids, gotten answers to all of their questions (his attorney was present and didn’t allow him to answer everything) and had been told the truth by him, things would have been different in the end….

  8. Our parole system is filled with problems, in Arkansas unless a parolee commits another felony they are never busted back to prison. Federals tend to bust them for parole violations though.

    The parole boards are more inclined to give folks parole to reduce the prison over crowding after all they are politiial appointees and the governor is all about reducing the cost of prisons.

    I think EVENTUALLY the fMRI will be used to screen convicts because they can detect a psychopath who has no remorse even though he/she may pretend to have remorse. Patrick is soooo good at it. LOL But until our justice system realizes that psychopaths WILL reoffend they will keep letting them out.

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