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  1. Joyce,
    there’s an article in the NYTimes that points to an answer:

    Rene Girard would agree, the school shooters are mimetic, they’re copying the columbine shooters who said that they would be famous and go down in history. They were right.

    Sociopaths copy other sociopaths. They’re like infants filled with rage and they lash out in the way that they’ve observed others do.

    People are contagious. We contaminate with our emotions. When the media puts out all the news that’s scandalous, we see the world as scandalous and we respond accordingly.

  2. I think that is part of it for sure, Skylar. The need to be famous, regardless what it costs. The ones who commit suicide by cop, or shoot themselves, I think desire the fame, but also to “show them” (the world) that they are some how important.

    I saw a film once that was made as a suicide prevention film, and it showed the family and school with people weeping, and the funeral etc. then shots of the grave, first with fresh flowers, then with wilted ones then with grass growing uncut over the stone, and then pictures of the family and the school going on with their lives. The adolescents don’t get it that whatever they do their fame is VERY FLEETING and people (especially the public) forgets them. Sure they may remember the event for a year or two, but the name of the shooter will soon be forgotten.

    I look at our society post WWII and how wealthy our country has become and how the internet, U-tube and social media and television has changed the mores of the population. The “reality” shows, hoods becoming “stars” and programs like Jerry Springer’s show where people get up and flaunt their immoral and irresponsible behaviors, where women aren’t sure who sired their child, etc. and I want to cry.

    My son Patrick thinks he is a “success” believe it or not. LOL He believes that people will respect him and look up to his “superior intelligence” Heck, he has not even been a successful criminal, he has gotten caught for most of his crimes.

    The incidence of crime in the US is actually down because we DO have so many psychopaths locked up. Of course not every psychopath is a criminal, some are just jerks. But our society which seems to admire these people, and the psychopaths copying the other psychopaths in order to be “famous” is a sad state of affairs.

    The father of this latest Texas shooter saying that his son is THE VICTIM not the criminal—well I just shake my head. I never thought Patrick was the victim of anyone but himself. I grieved because I didn’t need a crystal ball to see that he was ruining his life.I did think for a while at least that he had really reformed, he had me fooled because I WANTED TO BELIEVE, and maybe that father WANTS to believe his son is a victim, but he will have to find out the hard way, just as I did.

    We need to listen to our guts about these people who are dangerous. Part of the problem is that psychiatrists seem to think Psychopaths can be “treated” if you get them before they are 18, but the truth is that there IS NO TREATMENT that works. I am not even sure that if you started at birth with a child that you could prevent the blossoming of psychopathy in adulthood or late adolescence.

    The ONLY thing I can say is that if a person is showing signs of psychopathy and lack of conscience GET AWAY FROM THEM. AND STAY AWAY FROM THEM.

    I know you have a family full of dysfunctional folks, just as I do, and maybe some of them are truly psychopaths or maybe they are not totally psychopaths, but no matter how much you love them or want them to change, they don’t see the need to change.

    Sometimes they “love bomb” us in order to use us for whatever purpose they desire, and that too is a sign. Anything someone love bombs you, be careful. I have fallen for that too many times myself.

  3. I re read that article Skylar, and it was even better the second time around. Great article! Thanks for linking to that.

    I had an interesting interaction with an “old friend” this past week which did not end well. I was “in love” with this guy when I was 21 (50 years ago) and after we broke up we stayed “friends” about 20 years ago, he retired and he and his then girl friend (he called her his wife, but never married her) wanted to move to Arkansas and live near me. I had an old house trailer and they lived in it for about 10 months until they found a house they could afford, and we visited from time to time, about 2 years ago the woman died and he is quite elderly now and lives alone, without much family and none near by. He had started showing up at my house with a van load of food that he would not tell me where he got it. I THOUGHT he was dumpster diving behind wal mart, so took the food and fed it to my chickens.
    Recently he asked me and an out of town guest I had to go on a road trip with him. I went because had not been feeling well and thought she might like to get out of the house and see some of the state before she left. On the trip his driving TERRIFIED US. I asked him to slow down and quit taking BOTH HANDS off the wheel and he became angry and continued to drive dangerously telling me “You can’t order me around in my own car” at which point I said “stop right here and let me out” He did not stop even with my repeated demands to do so.

    Then he eventually pulled over and let me drive “because this is too nice a day to ruin with a quarrel.”

    When we got back home he told me where he was getting the food—-from a food bank where his buddy was in charge of passing out the food, so he was literally taking food out of the mouths of other people who deserved and needed this food that I was feeding my chickens.

    Then he “went off on” me because my son had not fixed a gun he owned in a timely manner, so after he left I the gun he had left here for one son to fix, and some more that my other son was going to appraise for him (for free) so he would know how much they were worth when he went to sell them. (My sons usually charge folks for repair or appraising guns and they were doing it for him for free.)

    After driving his guns back to his house Ididn’t expect to see him again, but low and behold he shows up at my house a couple of days later with a car load of food from the food bank.

    I told him what I thought about him taking food from the food pantry instead of the guy there passing it out to needy families. As he left I said “Have a nice life.” He had never expressed any remorse for scaring the carp out of me and my friend with his erratic driving or for taking food out of the mouths of needy folks. I don’t have a problem in the world with the food if he was dumpster diving (unless it was something that would spoil and kill you like meat) Ihave known several folks who would get food that was going to be thrown out because it was outdated (though still good) but what my “friend” was doing was unconscionable in my opinion.

    I don’t think he is a psychopath, but what he was doing was IMMORAL at the very best and I do not need folks who will do things that are selfish and immoral.I also do not need folks in my life who are so controlling that they will drive unsafely and refuse to stop it.

    Maybe he is getting senile, I haven;t seen any signs of it, but whether it is senility or just being a control freak or a jack arse, I don’t need the kind of person in my life who does things like that.

  4. Wow Joyce. WTF? Why would he steal from a food bank? What is the point?

    I think he is trying to slime you by making you complicit in his immoral behavior. He was trying to see where your boundaries are. And I guess you told him.

    It sounds to me like he’s a narcissist who lost his supply when his girlfriend died. She had been his main source of drama and he was having you audition for the part by creating these mind-bending behaviors. He wanted to know if you would “respond correctly” to quote my ex-spath.

    You should have gray rocked him. LOL.

    I’m going to send you an email. I need some advice, again.

  5. Wow Joyce, the guy was stealing from the food bank? Not just him but the friend was involved as well. That says a lot about them both, and not in a good way.

    Sky- the ex usued to also ask questions seeking the ‘right answer” or “correct response” that matched the one he had in his own mind. That gets old pretty quick and once you point it out, they move on to the next victim.

    So the dad is now claiming his son was bullied? Where was the ‘evidence’ of this? Had his father gone to the school about it? The police? Haven’t heard a word about any of this in the media at all and supposedly he had moved on with a new girlfriend. The other girl told her parents 2 weeks before this happened, “He is going to kill me.” because he had even told her he was going to.

  6. Well, Skylar, I thought he was dumpster diving behind a wal marts, and that he knew when they chunked stuff out so would get there while it was still okay to eat. I know folks who have done this as a source of food, and he would not tell me where he was getting it. Again, I figured he didn'[ want to admit where he was getting it. But it NEVER Dawned on ME that he was stealing from a food bank. LOL That is pretty danged low.

    I do know he is lonely since his GF died and he told me he is looking for another GF and I told him frankly that I was not interested in that role, but would be his friend

    I think maybe he was using bringing the foodstuffs by here twice weekly as an excuse to come visit. 50 years ago when I actually dated him it was always HIM in control, so maybe he is just a control freak, who knows, and who cares, actually? I don’t need him in my life.

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