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The Bible as an excuse for domestic violence — 5 Comments

  1. Joyce, the first violent exspath OFTEN used my spiritual/religious beliefs to accomplish his goals. He would frequently refer to our marriage vows as something that God had mandated by saying, “You promised to OBEY me. God only loves those who OBEY.” Well, enough years of that claptrap and I truly and honestly believed that I was AT FAULT for feeling abused and used by my spouse.

    Spiritual abuse is deadly because the roots of religion run very, very deep and are, most often, MORE important than our own healthy Self-isms. What God thinks of us is vastly more important that what we even think of ourselves, and “bad people” and human predators use this to their advantage.


  2. I hope you read that entire blog of wildninja, she is awesome. Yes, spiritual abuse is terrible and it was only a few years ago that I realized my mother had spiritually abused me as well. I think back at the anger I felt and the fear and hurt it caused and I didn’t realize it was abuse either. I realize now it was all about CONTROL cloaked in religious beliefs.

  3. I honestly believe that abusive people, be it mothers, fathers, husbands or whatever, will use whatever means they can to control their victims.

    Whatever you hold dear, they will find a way to twist it around to suit their needs and control you. It may be all they have, but if it works, they will use it as long as they can against you. They can always find something in writing to take out of context. Because it is in the Bible, it mus be even more powerful.

  4. Yea, Pixie you are right, they use WHATEVER you hold dear…hostage…to gain their control over you. It is very sad though that so many of these “right wing” nut jobs use religion, regardless of what type of religion it is…look at that Jeffs guy who had the 70 child brides. Even from prison he controls his flock….and how about t hose Amish that were convicted to hate crimes for holding down people who didn’t agree with them and cutting their beards and hair which is important to those people who are Amish. All about control.

  5. My belief is that spiritual/religious abuse is the most effective in setting a victim up. It may not be the most prevalent form in the dynamics, but it sets the stage for the whole dismantling process.

    What’s the first thing that an invading and conquering group does to a vanquished population? REMOVE BELIEFS SYSTEMS. Whether the vanquished peoples’ rituals and practices are banned, made illegal, or simply disdained, that is the first thing to go. Take away a population’s source of comfort, guidance, and ethereal answers, and fill that void in with new beliefs.

    Spiritual abuse has always existed, and it will continue to exist as long as human beings are still flourishing on the planet. Being aware of what it is, what it looks like, and what the consequences are can help me to maintain my boundaries with others, and myself.

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