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Trashing the victim — 39 Comments

    • If you are not aware of the story, you should look up Brian Deneke. The things the defense attorney said about him during the trial were appalling (as was the verdict). I knew that there had been many instances of bashing the victims in rape cases, but hadn’t realized until recently that it’s also done in any kind of case. It literally made my stomach turn to learn that this is “okay” in our justice system.

      • Stephabue Gemillion,

        I am sorry I am a year late in answering your post, unfortunately for the last 3 years I have been involved with another psychopathic attack from not only my son, but a first cousin as well AND Patrick came back up for parole in November 19 and I had to fight that as well. Fortunately I succeeded in getting him another set off but it was only for 2 years.

        I looked up the murder of Brian by Camp and the TOTAL miscarriage of justice in the killer getting little or no punishment.

        Our “justice” system should be called the IN-JUSTICE SYSTEM….I have been reading about the autopsy findings of Jerry Epstein being ruled a suicide when the EVIDENCE shows it was murder….someone in power wanted him shut up so he could not bring down others of his ilk in high places. Bill Clinton was a friend of his and so was Prince Andrew and many other rich and perverted men

        During preparation for a law suit where my son Patrick and a cousin of mine are suing me for my mother’s estate I had to as part of the trial preparation I had to listen to about 20 hours of taped telephone conversations from Patrick to my mother in which he smeared me all to heck to a senile woman who had NO LONG TERM MEMORY, telling her that I had called her father a violent drunk (which he was not) and called her brother one (which he was) but since she had almost no memory of the past she did not remember.

        Psychopaths are very good at manipulation and my son is also VERY intelligent which makes me VERY GOOD at manipulation, and he manipulated me for 20 years as well until I FINALLY got out of denial and realized there was no way to help him.

        I got a call this past week from two women that I have known for many years, both of which have psychopathic sons. I knew these kids as kids and the stories their mothers told of their adult behavior let me know there was NO DOUBT they are both psychopaths One of them when he got out of prison became a “minister” andhas this huge following of people giving him money. His mother finally realized she had been in denial all these years. And broken hearted she called me to tell me she finally realized what he is.

        There is also a woman at my church who works with drug and alcohol rehab and does a prison ministry. Recently she tried to get our ladies group to sign a petition for the judge to remove 5 years of his 25 year sentence (he has been in and out of prison since 15) and I spoke up and only 1 or 2 of the other ladies signed it This woman who works with the convicts, because she was a former drug user and had been arrested can only see the “good” in the manipulative psychopaths. I doubt that I can educate her

  1. Joyce, defense trial attorneys are paid, very well, for what they do, and they have a legal leeway to defend their clients. However, if I were sitting in on a jury listening to a defense attorney making such accusations against someone that is no longer alive to either refute or support their statements, I would have to really, really consider the sources.

    This is ONE of the reasons that I never called the police on the first exspath or reported him for rape. Who would have believed me in 1992? I would have been torn to pieces by a defense attorney considering the emotional state that I was in up until the time I finally demanded a divorce from him!

    This case is dreadful, Joyce, and it’s reprehensible on every level. UGH…….

  2. Well the jury only took ONE HOUR to convict him for life and would have given him the death penalty but the family didn’t want it, instead he got two life without parole sentences stacked so there is NO chance he will ever get out.

    Funny thing was he actually got up on the stand himself and the news said the prosecutor who cross examined him punched holes in all his lies and he got embarrassed on the stand because he couldn’t keep his stories straight. LOL

    It is a violation of a lawyer’s ethics to let a defendant get on the stand and LIE but you know I sincerely doubt that the lawyer believed even one sentence of his lies. In his interview he said about the guy testifying “well we didn’t have anything to lose” which to me says he KNEW the client was lying but still violated ethics and put him on the stand to tell the lies.kl What a CREEP!

  3. Ok, there’s a few points here.

    1) I’m glad he will never see the light of day on the outside ever again. Who knows, he may not see it for long on the inside either. Time will tell.
    2) Joyce, I know you are against the death penalty, but in some cases, when there is no room for doubt that this person did this, was caught red handed in the act and confessed… I don’t think there is any reason not to end it right there. Skip the appeals, skip the lengthy due process and just end it. Their victims didn’t get that right, that say or any second chances…
    3) I know the defense attorneys get paid well and have leeway to do their jobs, but to trash the victim like that? Seriously??? Especially when and since she is dead?!?!?! Calling him a CREEP is just so ‘Vanilla’.
    4) Letting the guy lie on the stand, he may have been letting him ‘hang’ himself. Give ’em enough rope… Sometimes the lawyers know this is what’s going on and do things to ‘help’ the other side without so clearly and obviously ‘throwing’ the case.

    With all of that said, for the attorney to even say things like that and hope to cast even a small shadow of a doubt, makes him (in my mind anyways) a douch.ewad de jour. Why am I not surprised?

  4. Phoenix, I AGREE that the defense attorney is a piece of filth not worthy to breathe air, for sure. As far as the death penalty, I am not against it, just AGAINST THE WAY IT IS PRACTICED.

    There have been now HUNDREDS of people PROVEN INNOCENT who were sentenced to death or life without parole by DNA evidence, some have been in prison as much as 40 years. I realize there was no DNA tests back then, but you know EYE WITNESS testimony has been TRASHED as a reliable thing.

    I agree there are some folks who are OBVIOUSLY GUILTY and NO doubt about it….and I really would like to see THOSE people put to death in a TIMELY manner (not after 1 or 2 DECADES) and the cost of the mandated appeals,, even if the man says he wants to go NOW…the law makes appeals and more appeals what HAS TO HAPPEN and of course they are NOT done in a timely manner.

    I would like VIOLENT criminals and ones who have hurt or killed others when there is no doubt PUT TO DEATH or at least kept for Life Without Parole (LWP)

    The one that BOWLED me over the other night was the doctor who treated patients for cancer when they didn’t have it, killed some, totally ruined the health of others permanently, one man had to have a liver transplant…for $17.6 million dollars in fraudulent insurance payments. He got 45 years….I think he should do them ALL in solitary confinement and no parole and at his age that would be a life sentence. But since he is educated and white collar he probably will get parole in 10 years.

    Chicago Med and Chicago PD did a show about it last week, but I had NO idea until yesterday that the case was a REAL one that they were portraying in a fictionalized way. SVU frequently fictionalizes real cases but hadn’t seen Chicago PD do that until now.

    The two people in Arkansas that killed the Real Estate lady thought she was “rich” and they were going to hold her for ransom, but when they found out she had NO MONEY and her checking account was about zero, they decided to kill her. Smothered her by wrapping her head in duct tape, bad way to go….then buried her body in a shallow grave, stole her car but abandoned it later.

    When they were found their car was FULL of evidence but this new defense attorney got it thrown out even though it was a very technically “illegal” search…I believe in people’s rights, but you know, the TECHNICAL flaws in the police force should not doom a case, I am just glad that this one went the way it did with him going to prison for LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE. He will rot there. And he deserves to ROT there. He can work in the cotton fields on the chain gang hoeing cotton. The prison has a large plantation raising cotton, cattle, etc. and being partly self supporting with this, they use the prisoners pretty much like slave labor, no tractors, just a chain gang with hoes getting out the weeds. I’ve “chopped cotton” when I was a teenager and it is BRUTAL work. Arkansas doesn’t coddle prisoners much. I think Angola in Louisiana and maybe Mississippi are the only two states that are more brutal to them.

    • I feel that there are some people who are too dangerous to be reintroduced to society and that, if they escape from prison, will create more mayhem and murder because they LIKE it. Those people need some killin’.

      The convict that lied because he “had nothing to lose” only made his situation worse. Like the arrogant fool that he is, he tried to worm his way out of the consequences that awaited him, and it backfired.

      COSBY, on the other hand, is worming his way out of everything without one backward glance because he is a celebrity and he declares that he’s been misunderstood and misinterpreted.

      UGH…………no legal system on the planet is “perfect” or “just,” but some things simply defy logic.

      • I agree with you on that one Zen….it is amazing to me that Cosby has gotten away with all this, and that OJ got away with double murder, but at the same time, it is a fact of life that people in power and media darlings get away with a lot. Look at Bill Clinton for example, caught in the act so to speak, and yet, he skated and continued on as president…and JFK, and his brothers on and on….

        And now Cosby suing his accusers for defamination of his character. LOL At least several of the Universities that named buildings after him and gave him awards have taken those away….if nothing else Cosby’s reputation is trashed and he will always be known as a rapist, even if he is never convicted. He’s going to do his best to keep out of jail and delay justice for the victims if not completely get around it. He is quite elderly and that may get him some sympathy from a jury, but I doubt it. I noticed that when he went to court he was tottery on his feet, and that may be a ruse or may be real, but to me, he needs to go to jail, even if it is in a “nursing home” cell block.

        • Joyce, I agree – he needs to pay for his crimes and celebrity sort of makes me sick on most levels. It’s an “excuse” for very bad behaviors, a means to act-out every deviant behavior, and a platform to instigate some of the most depraved and callous behaviors imaginable.

          Then, again……….some “celebrities” use their positions to affect changes and encourage altruism.

          For Cosby? He’s a worm and trashing the victims is not only typical within the celebrity world, but it’s also what I faced in each of my divorce actions. I was painted as a shrew and everything in between, and it’s incredible how attorneys bend and twist the rules to suit THEIR needs and those of their clients’.

          I often wondered why my father despised attorneys as he did – I finally “get it” because they are so detached from their clients’ sufferings or plights that they go beyond the pale to generate a name for themselves. INCOME. It’s all about billable hours.


          • Zen- we each know how it is to be “painted the shrew” as you so aptly put it. The attorneys aren’t so much in it to win it. They just take the check and move on to the next case/client, just like the courts try to get things settled and move on to the next…

            Their attorney bends and twists things around to suit their needs and make their client ‘look good’ in the eyes of the court. Just like we hope ours does the same for us. Win or lose, at the end of the day- the attorneys still get paid, the judges still get paid and what do they really care about the final outcome? They aren’t the ones who have to live with the aftermath.

  5. Phoenix, sadly I have to agree with you, many “officers of the court” (lawyers, Judges etc) are pretty much I think, just “ho hum” about most of the cases before them, they’ve “seen it all” and not much seems to faze them. I know that when you are working with seriously ill patients, etc. a medical person has to keep some professional “distance” otherwise the awful things you see day to day would overwhelm you. I imagine that cops, judges, lawyers etc, even the good and caring ones, have to keep a professional distance. Some however, as we well know DO NOT care about the consequences to their victims.

  6. Zen, one thing I wanted to touch base on again about the post above and being “painted the shrew”- Once the police were involved and the first time I had spoken to them, the detectives and officers working on spaths case told me, “You need to be ready for this. They (his family) will turn on you like no other.” The relationshit.s with his brothers and their wives was already strained at best. One of the brothers had spoken of kicking his wife to the curb, but this was supposed to be all hush-hush among the family. I don’t know if she’s aware of it now, but she’s playing the part and “Standing by her man” in support of their disdain for me. It’s all good. Her turn will come.

    • Phoenix, you bring up a GREAT point here….if the person in question has burned others, they will eventually burn YOU. That’s the thing so many people don’t seem to get about their family and/or friends who treat others badly but treat them well, and they see the person treating others badly but feel, “oh, he loves me and wouldn’t treat me that way” and then BAM! They get blind sided.

      How anyone treats others is a BIG RED FLAG and many people ignore it (me included in the past)

      Yea, when we confront bad behavior, and if we actually report it to the cops, then in the eyes of them and their enablers WE are the CAUSE of the trouble, and not the person themselves who did the illegal/immoral act.

      You know, it is a sad thing when someone we love turns out to be an offender, and we must must MUST stop enabling them or covering up for them if we are going to live a healthy life. Covering up an offender’s bad deeds or ignoring them is going to eventually bite you in the back side, and that is something you can take to the bank.

      • Two points stand out to me in this one Joyce.

        How someone treats others and when we enable someone and cover up for them.

        First on the point about covering up for others. If you think about it, in some cases when you cover up for someone, you are now an accomplice and many times considered just as guilty as they are. You know about it but don’t say anything, let alone do anything, you are agreeing that their actions are ok. This can be anything from lying, cheating, stealing or worse. Some things we may let slide, but other things we can’t let it go. If someone is lying, cheating or stealing, do we ignore it and move on or do we say something and speed up the process of Karma and them getting caught? If it is something worse like stalking, rape, physical abuse or murder, do we turn them in or turn a blind eye so as to not get involved? I can also understand someone NOT stepping up with information because they are afraid for their own safety. Their life may depend on them staying quiet and complacent.

        As for how someone treats others, I would like to turn this question on end a little. How do others view ME for the way I treat people? Now for the most part, there are some people that I plain do not care what they think of me. The spath, his family and their friends- I don’t give a rip what they think of me. Why should I in that respect? Caring what they think of me would not be healthy and I don’t have time/use for that or them.

        I don’t make this my first thought of the day when I’m interacting with someone, but sometimes I wonder, how DO others view the Before Me and the Now Me in the way I treat people? I can admit there are probably some polar opposites in there.

  7. Joyce- I agree about keeping a healthy distance in many lines of work. Any time you are dealing with people, there’s always a chance you might get ‘too close’ with someone. The blurred line of personal/professional can bowl you over big time. Seen it happen before and I’m sure I’ll see it again.

    Not just the medical field, but officers, fireman and likely attorneys, judges, etc. I’m sure they have seen a lot. Just when you think you’ve seen the lowest of lows a person can sink to? Along comes someone else.

    Which is why nothing the spath did or does, surprises me anymore. For a while it might have disgusted me, made me sad for him or whatever, and this doesn’t even apply anymore, but surprise me? Meh…. I was past that a loooooong time ago.

    • I still get “shocked” by people’s behaviors, but I am no longer surprised, either – if that makes sense.

      And, there are predators, users, and abusers in EVERY space of Life. Anywhere that people gather together, there will be those who want control. Period. In churches, at produce auctions, in the agricultural industries, in hospitality……….they are everywhere and they have always been, are, and forever WILL be part of the Human Condition. Free Will is something that only human beings have been gifted/cursed with, and with Free Will comes a host of caveats. Some choose to ignore them and do whatever they wish for whatever reasons. Others make efforts to adhere and accept those caveats. It’s up to me to determine how I am going to face each day and continue doing my own work of healing, and this means that I have options to observe and render decisions FOR MY OWN WELL BEING. The CAPS emphasize what a new concept this is for me because I (me, myself) was never attentive to my own needs (not “wants”), and this is something that I’m learning about on a daily basis.

      So……other people do what they do, and I have no control over that. That’s fine and I can walk away from dangerous people without malice or fear, anymore. That does NOT mean that I don’t ever experience malice or fear – it just means that I’m working on this, every day. 😉

  8. Zen, it makes sense to me about being ‘shocked’ but not surprised by the actions of others. It might catch us off guard at first and shock us, but then when we take a look back at it, it might seem so ‘textbook’ of what to expect from them, that NO, we are not surprised at all.

    You’re absolutely right that we cannot control anyone or what they do. Just like we can’t control how things happen, what gets done about it or the outcome. What we CAN control is how we react to it. What we DO about it and how we handle it from there. It’s like riding a bike. There will be struggles (hills) and there will be times we can relax and coast for a while, rather than having to pedal. Through all of it though, we have to maintain our balance or we will crash.

  9. Sadly Joyce, my thoughts and ideas of it all, they come from firsthand experience. Zen’s probably does as well and I imagine yours does too. A dear friend of mine told me once, ‘Honey I wouldn’t recognize it, if I hadn’t already LIVED it.”

    I used to be shocked by the things spath did or said. I used to, but then it got old. It was a worn out recording of lies and still is to this day. All of his ‘grandstanding’ self promoting and otherwise pumping himself up talk is nothing more than high mileage garbage that should have been thrown away years ago.

  10. Yep “living it” is sometimes necessary for folks to get it, but sadly even then many people do NOT GET IT even while living it…sad really, but you know we don’t tend to learn by someone else’s experience, at least NOT UNTIL WE ARE READY to listen.

  11. I agree 10,000% Joyce. I know that several different people told me the same stinking things in several different ways, but I didn’t ‘get it’. One day it just clicked and was like someone flipped the switch making a light bulb come on. Only then did I finally, Finally ‘See the light’ so to speak. From there, the self realizations and epiphanies came rolling in on almost a daily basis. Things the spath did, things he said and I started putting things together…. There were things that he said before the marriage, little jabs at me that I passed off at the time, but now? Oh holy heII it was subtle and brutal on his part. Red flags waving all over the place much?

    Looking back now, it’s crazy how little sense things make, but before it was all ‘normal’. It’s the looking back when we realize the ‘war zone’ our life was, which is why when we see it now in others- IT REALLY STANDS OUT! It glares at us in ways we can’t deny.

  12. Phoenix, you wrote, “Looking back now, it’s crazy how little sense things make, but before it was all ‘normal’.” This was so true for me, as well, but I finally understand why those things seemed so normal and that’s what it’s all about. Learning. EVEN if it’s when I’m past mid-life, if I’m getting the lessons, then it’s all good.

    Today, I’m working on softening my edges a little and allowing myself to experience more compassion, rather than the hyper-empathy that I used to experience. And, there’s quite a difference, I must say. Today, I’m riding that kiddie roller coaster instead of the adult tilt-a-whirl that was non-stop and so predictable. I’m able to move through the day without malice or fear gnawing at my ankles, and that is a tremendous place to be!

    Sadly, as Joyce quite aptly stated, “…we don’t tend to learn by someone else’s experience, at least NOT UNTIL WE ARE READY to listen.” What true words, and I’ll go a step further where I’m concerned, personally: I would always “listen,” but I rarely had the ability to HEAR what was being said.

    • Zen, in your last statement about Hearing and Listening, I think you might have those two things reversed. Trust me, I have to think about this sometimes myself, so you’re not alone on this one.

      We HEAR everything, want to or not. It goes into our ears and we heard it. Whether we are actually LISTENING to it or not is a completely different story…. lol

      Here’s an example to clarify- When you are outside say at the park, and the birds are chirping, traffic going by, kids laughing and playing nearby, maybe a dog barking, planes flying overhead- you can HEAR all of that, all at once, all at the same time.

      What sound you choose to LISTEN to? That is up to each of us in an ongoing, minute by minute basis. Did you listen to the birds? Hear the dog? Did one of the cars honk their horn? Or was I ignoring all of this, because I am so wrapped up in my own little world, mad at someone about something and so focused on that, that I blocked it all out? I have done this, so I can and do recognize it.

      • Great point Phoenix….I’ll give you an illustration about hearing and listening that my parrot came up with. When the door was opened, he would make a “whooshing” sound, and he did it every time we went in or came out…and we couldn’t figure out why he did that. Of course they HEAR everything and LISTEN to much. Well, later, we figured it out…when my husband would come in the door, if it was hot outside and cool inside, he would go “whoosh” (the sound not the word) and vice versa, if it was cold outside and warm inside he would make the same sound. The bird HEARD IT and LISTENED, but we had blocked it out of our conscious minds and did not LISTEN to it, actually didn’t “hear” it, it was just part of the ambient sounds in the house that we no longer tuned in to. LOL Sort of like the refrigerator running, we don’t “notice” it because it isn’t important to us….unless it changes sounds when it comes on, then we may “notice” and realize it is “sick” LOL

        Hearing is done with the EARS but LISTENING IS DONE WITH THE BRAIN. Sometimes our internal “tapes” block out a concept that would be very upsetting if we LISTENED and accepted it as truth. The concept of “letting go” (no contact) with a family member was not something I “listened to” though I had heard it a zillion times. Then when I did get it with Uncle Monster and went NC with him, I still didn’t “get it” (the same concept) with my son. CRAZY!!!!

        But there came a time when I finally was READY to Hear, Listen and Learn. Then and only then did I make progress in healing.

  13. Guys back when i was doing probono medical care for the women and children from the domestic violence shelter, the advocate would bring them into the office and sometimes stay in the room while I talked to and examined them or their kids. The hospital that owned the clinic I managed allowed me to do the care for free, even x-rays, and I got the drug reps to donate the drugs I needed as “samples” because many of the women and kids had health issues and infections….frequently these women would go back to the man who had broken their arms or worse….and I was dumbfounded as to WHY. I actually felt superior to these women because if a husband had hit me I would not have stayed longer than to pack my bag to leave…but you know, I DIDN’T SEE how I was doing the same exact thing with PATRICK….but because it wasn’t physical abuse to me directly, I didn’t “get” the connection to the women’s behavior and MY OWN…. Sad but true.

    Again, back to the in-sight versus the out-sight. I had even read tons of information on enabling and I saw THEM doing it, but NOT MYSELF doing the exact same thing.

    With the “theory of learning” (learning about anything from your ABCs to a PhD) the learner MUST BE READY, WILLING AND ABLE to learn. The time must be right for learning to penetrate deeper than our ear drums.

    You can say the ABCs for a newborn and no matter how many times you say it, even though the child hears the sounds, they do NOT LEARN THE MEANING. They are NOT yet ready to learn these things.

    With you guys and with me, and millions of other people, we were not READY to learn because there were underlying concepts we had not truly grasped even though we may have read or heard those “words”

    Zen and I have talked in the past about how the “internal messages” we received as children and DID internalize BLOCKED our accepting that NOT everyone deserves a “second chance” or that there is NOT always good down deep in everyone, or that we are responsible for the happiness of others, etc. Those “messages” (Eric Berne calls them “parental tapes”) inside our heads that we accepted way before we were able to evaluate the truth of them BLOCKED our thinking, reasoning and emotions. It is HARD to overcome this, and many many times we tend to think “emotionally:” rather than logically, and we use those old tapes to “validate” our dysfunctional behaviors as the right ones.

    In my healing process I have had to go back and take out those old ways of thinking and examine them for validity.

    The “tape” that says “brush your teeth twice a day” is a valid tape, and I need to keep that inside my head to remind me to brush my teeth every day without having to DECIDE if I need to brush my teeth every day. I just DO it, no deciding about anything, just pick up the toothbrush and do it. So some of the things our parents and teachers taught us is “right” we can ACCEPT and keep in our minds, but the other things we must PUSH THE MUTE BUTTON. We can’t erase them but we can MUTE THEM. And we can ADD things to the tapes we want. For example. if the “everyone deserves a second chance” pops into my head like a bad penny, I can LITERALLY SAY TO MYSELF, “nope, that’s not true”

    So those of us who have INVALID tapes inside our head that make us want to have (hyper) compassion, or let repeat offenders remain in our lives or to try and “fix” them, well we can MUTE and SILENCE those tapes if they surface.

    The thing is that we must be willing to examine EVERY thing we ever thought was true. And then decide if it is or is not true.

    I have always been FOR the death penalty for murderers and rapists, etc. but a few years ago, I looked at that “truth” and decided against it (though some people DO DESERVE) to die for their crimes, because EVIDENCE has shown that HUNDREDS of people on death row or doing life without parole were actually INNOCENT as proven by DNA testing and have been released off death row or let out, even after 25-40 years.

    And the thing is that no matter how much a thug someone is, if they are put in prison for killing someone they did not kill, they should NOT be kept in prison when they are innocent of that crime. Some states not only give these men a “pension” when they get out, but help them readjust to society in a positive way. So I am no longer for the death penalty because if you have it for ANYone then you will execute innocent men and women. At least with life without parole, there is a chance that an innocent person will be freed.

    Examining our “tapes” is a difficult and life long task that we must engage in if we are to quit accepting as “truth” the myths that we were fed as children by our parents, by society, and by our teachers and our community. Even by our churches which pervert in my case the definition of “forgiveness” to mean that we must keep these repeat offenders in our lives even if they are not sorry, have not changed and will not change, in order to be acceptable to “god.” Well, that is NO longer my definition of God’s will and even the Bible doesn’t say that allowing someone to abuse you repeatedly is what you are required to do.

  14. Joyce, I would say the whole thing about learning and teaching like you mentioned is spot on!

    As a teacher, if the student isn’t intent on learning something, they aren’t focused and both of you are wasting the time, energy and money spent on the ‘lesson’. It’s just not working…

    As the student, If you aren’t ready to grasp the information, aren’t ready to accept it or understand it, you just don’t ‘get it’. It doesn’t make sense and there is no ‘beating it into’ your brain.

    For me, this applies to school subjects and the way the teachers taught them. There were classes I breezed thru in school and aced with no problem. Some classes I had to work at a little, but I pulled off a decent grade B’s & C’s and I was fine with that. Then there were classes I struggled with and although I worked my rear end off, the best I could manage was a D- but at least I passed… Some of it was the way the teachers taught them. History was not my interest and certainly not a strong point, but one of my teachers made it so easy for me the way he taught it- I Aced it in HIS class. Another teacher, similar history classes? Not so much…. 🙁

  15. I thought there was a post about Cosby and all of his charges. I read an article yesterday (no I didn’t think to get a link for it to post here) and it is stating that since he did not make the deal about the deposition with the court or the attorney on these other cases, it WILL be admissible for his upcoming trial. It looks like he will be going before a jury for them to decide if he is guilty or not. This is for the case brought against him by the 29 women.

  16. I broke my right hanhd last night so will B short, but I think it will B BE ALLOWED INTO THE TRIAL. I imagion his lawyers will STALL and stall some more and at his age i doubt much prison time but I think his worst punishment will B the loss of face

  17. Sorry to hear about your hand Joyce. I know what you mean about being a patient. Just try to be a patient, patient. Lol

    Sadly enough I don’t think Cosby is ruined. There are still plenty of people that doubt he did anything wrong. Sure there are plenty who think he did and plenty who know what he did to them, but he may still have a following of enough that he isn’t totally lost in life. All of that said- If he does any jail time, he will likely have a flock of prison groupies just like so many others. *massive eyeroll*

  18. thanks phoenix, pain is decreased, and in a cast now…went to hang surgeon yesterday–looks like no surgery or pins, but i have 4 bones broken in fingers, hand and wrist—if i’m gonna do it, gonna do it RIGHT…no half measures. LOL

    phoenix you may be right, but not EVERYONE thinks he is the funny guy we all loved….and with people high in N traits he no longer has EVERYONE’S admiration and that has got to hurt…and with colleges etc taking his name off of buildings etc has got to be a blow to the ego

    • Joyce & Phoenix………..back from a brief break.

      I am SO grateful that you don’t need surgery, Joyce. Still, having that many bones broken in one extremity is very, very painful and I’m so sorry that happened.

      As for BC, Temple University has pretty much severed all ties with him, and I believe it’s because some faculty and board members were aware of his nefarious activities, and did nothing to report them. A person like Cosby doesn’t turn that illness on and off like a light switch, although they will TRY to appear “normal.” What a sick, sad man.

  19. you know zen, it would not surprise me if some folks DID KNOW what he was doing and did not disclose it, like the penn state covered up fpr sandusky. it is interesting to me that BC ‘mr. clean’ hung out so much at the Playboy mansion with hugh heffner. they seem to be great pals. I find it difficult that a Mr. nice family man would hang with Heff. mr kinky himself.

    I would bet the farm that there were dozens of folks who kew what was going on for DECADES…besides the victims.

  20. This is one of those topics that is hand-in-glove with abuses. The perpetrator of abuse will “blame the victim” and trash him/her to anyone who will listen. I’m not sure if they actually believe that the victim is the person who abused them or if it is simply using a smoke screen to absolve themselves in the eyes of others.

    This past year I have gotten into contact with the family of Patrick’s victim, Jessica Witt. I had never before made any effort to get into contact with them. I was too ashamed. Then I for whatever reason I am not sure, googled her name and a story came up on the screen, about her life, written by her aunt. I replied to the story and simply said “I’m so sorry for your loss. I am Patrick’s mother” The aunt answered me very sweetly and we corresponded some. Later I was able to communicate with Jessica’s father.

    Jessica’s father and her aunt told me that Patrick had used his “abused childhood” as his defense, though he admitted killing Jessica, first to her roommate when he took her belongings back to the roommate and told her what he had done, then he admitted it to the police. None of that made any sense to me, but reading the police report confirmed that it was true. The aunt told me that Patrick tried to get “pity” from the jury.

    He has frequently accused me of abuse, even when he was a teenager, he used that to get my mother to take him in when he was about 15 and I had called the police on him for breaking my ribs. She took him in of course. as Patrick said to Hamilton in a letter “Grandma always takes my side.” Which of course is true.

    My daughter-in-law who along with her boyfriend, Hamilton, tried to kill her husband, my son, accused him of abusing her. And wrote a letter saying how mean he had been to her.

    But abusing and vilifying the victim is the norm, not the exception. My son Patrick is par for the course. In fact, his behavior has followed the PATTERN of psychopathic abusers to the “tee.”

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