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What am I facing when my child breaks the law? — 6 Comments

  1. Joyce, I really appreciate this article – I was a “problem child” as a teenager, and I DID feel remorse for putting my parents through the proverbial ringer, and I told them so when I realized how my choices were hurting them.

    When my son began “acting out,” the Juvenile Court System viewed me as the catalyst for his choices, and parents of “troubled” children should be prepared for this, on every level. From Judges to attorneys to Prosecutors to Court-appointed agencies, the PARENT is held under the microscope.

    In some cases, the parents are clearly permissive and even neglectful because they cannot be bothered enough to define and enforce boundaries and consequences. Other cases present one parent attempting to hold the child(ren) accountable, and the other parent is permissive and neglectful – this situation causes extreme anxiety for the conscientious parent because there is no support from any angle, including their spouse. Then, in other cases, the parents are doing everything that they can possibly do to get help for their children, and the children simply refuse to cooperate, comply, or care.

    A good option for parents is to seek individual counseling therapy, along with engaging their children in their own counseling. It’s no easy task to work with a disordered child, and setting aside the denial and getting down to hard work can assist a rebellious teen to work through the typical angst.

  2. Truthspeak, thank you for your very thoughtful comments, you said

    When my son began “acting out,” the Juvenile Court System viewed me as the catalyst for his choices, and parents of “troubled” children should be prepared for this, on every level. From Judges to attorneys to Prosecutors to Court-appointed agencies, the PARENT is held under the microscope.

    I so much agree with this comment, even a parent doing the best they can gets heat from the system.

  3. In our “psychologically oriented society” it is common practice to blame the parents if a child comes into conflict with the law. I have seen this even in cases where the young offender was adopted by his parent and where a faulty gene was obviously involved.
    If parents have problem controlling a child, the first thing they should consider is
    DIET! You don’t need talk therapy to control a child’s diet. Furthermore, if a parent wants to assess whether a child might have hypoglycemia (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/what-is-hypoglycemia/,), which is a major cause of mood disorders among children, he/she could fill in a Nutrition-Behavior Inventory test (NBI) (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/the-nutrition-behaviour-inventory-nbi/) on behalf of the child. A mother would know exactly how a child would respond to a question in the NBI. If the child has a high score in the NBI, it is most likely that the child is hypoglycemic which could account for his behaviour. Then get the whole family on the hypoglycemic diet. When behaviour start to improve talk therapy might be helpful.
    But before doing so, I suggest you study our psychotherapy course in full, from beginning to the end. It is explained at:
    Summary of Psychotherapy Course

    It include such things as Transactional Analysis – a powerful communication course, that show how conflict can arise, by the way we communicate. It also includes an Assertive Training Program that can help both parents and children.

    • Transactional analysis is definitely a good program to follow if there is family dis-communication with adults and adolescents, but unfortunately, for small children it is beyond their grasp except to demonstrate and model good communication to them in a nurturing environment.

      I first started reading about TA back in the days of “Games People Play” and as you see I still recommend that book.

      While I agree with you (to a point) on dietary factors in depression as ONE of MANY factors including the amount of sunlight the person receives, the amount of restful sleep, stress levels etc. as well as genetics, I don’t think that hypoglycemia or any specific diet is going to cure all the ills of depression or psychopathy and other personality disorders. I wish it would. The Feingold diet didn’t cure my son’s ADHD, but it did lower it enough that he could “mainstream” in school and in life without drugs.

      Apparently there has been some recent double blind testing of the Feingold diet and it is found that in a subset of ADHD kids it does work remarkably well. In the rest of them it is a waste of time and effort. (and believe me it is a BIG undertaking to follow that diet)

      I was reading an article not long ago about BPH the plastic chemical that has leached into the blood of 93% of all Americans at a measurable level. It was first checked to see if it caused cancer, and it apparently doesn’t, but it DOES cause ALL KINDS of problems from low sperm count to depression, a long list of things. It has been used for baby bottles and other plastic food containers, and for the linings of canned foods for decades. It is NOT inert and if it is heated it is very active.

      I have no doubt Jurplesman that in the future, the chemicals in our “unnatural” diets will show negative results on our health, both mental and physical, as well as the type of foods we eat and how they are processed.

      I grew up on a “southern” US diet of highly salted foods, bacon, ham, etc. and have recently had to stop my huge intake of sodium (salt) as I aged and I did a lot of research on our sodium intake as a society. I found that 2.3 MILLION UNNECESSARY deaths yearly are caused by the HIGH SODIUM DIETS that we Americans eat.

      I laugh at myself now because I have become a “convert”–you know the old thing like “there is no fanatic like a CONVERT” LOL So now I am starting my own AA of salt called “SEA” Salt Eaters Annon. LOL

  4. Interesting post Joyce. I can assure you that we had good result with ADHD, even before it was at all recognized to exist, by placing ADHD kid on a hypoglycemic diet. Also see an article published in our Newsletter at:

    ADHD and ADD, the Hyperactive Child by Dr Lendon H Smith —> page 7

    Yes, the influence of Bisphenol A on the mind cannot be ignored. So much can be done to help our young people by nutritional means for them to be able to live a more satisfactory life. Let us hope that soon nutritional psychotherapy will become the norm in helping people overcome their mood disorders. This can only be done by educating people from below, because you cannot expect those in charge of mental health services to abandon their privileged position centering around the lucrative drug trade.

    I have called for a new profession at:
    Creation of a New Profession of Nutritional Psychotherapist in Psychonutrion

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