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When your child becomes a monster — 45 Comments

  1. Yea, Phoenix, that VALIDATION by someone else that we are not crazy can come to be super super SUPER DUPER important to us….and of course we must learn to validate ourselves, not wait for someone else to save us or validate us.

    Like I’ve said before when Columbus thought the world was round, nearly everyone else thought it was flat, but it didn’t change the shape of the world, he sailed off and proved to himself it was round…though he actually didn’t end up in India where he thought he was. LOL The point is that if he had gone with the general consensus, he would NEVER HAVE SAILED. We have to validate our own truth, and SET SAIL~

  2. Joyce & Phoenix, I agree that validation is important – that’s why this site and 180rule.com exists, along with many, many others.

    What I learned about myself in therapy is that I had never experienced validation, as a child, and this carried over into my adult life. Because that “inner child” needed validation and not only never experienced it, but was dismissed, this became a big draw for toxic people where I was concerned. “JUST ‘like’ me, and I’ll tolerate anything!” was pretty much my approach.

    Once I read “Healing The Shame That Binds You,” I got this concept of the wounded “inner child” running the show. I learned that I had the ability to validate myself, first, and NOT concern myself with people liking me, or not. It was so very, very important that people “like” me because, if they DID, I believed that they wouldn’t abandon me, hurt me, abuse me, dismiss me, etc……..this gave everyone else The Power over my own beliefs, emotions, and options.

    OxD, I really like your statement, “We have to validate our own truth, and SET SAIL.” This needs to be a personal mantra for me, I think. And, a bumper sticker. đŸ˜‰

  3. ANOTHER CASE: The father of a woman recently arrested for murder, who claims to have killed 22 people as part of a “satanic cult” speaks out about his daughter.


    The father of this young woman seems to have “her number” about her manipulative behavior. It also sounds like he did his best when his teenaged daughter decided on a life of drugs and violence. (sigh) I can definitely understand his angst. He is unfortunately, among the many parents of people who have committed horrific crimes.

    At the time Patrick was arrested I didn’t know if he even could be executed, but even after I knew he had killed Jessica, I think I would have “died” if he had been sent to Death Row.

    While I am now against the death penalty because of the large number of INNOCENT people who have been released off death row by the various Innocence Projects using DNA to prove that these people were not only “not guilty” but actually INNOCENT of the crimes they were given live without parole or the death penalty for. This case is pretty cut and dried that she is actually guilty though, but I think if we have the death penalty for even OBVIOUSLY guilty people, then we also will have it for people who are wrongly convicted.

    Though now, knowing what I do, I would actually feel safer if Patrick was executed, it has taken me a long time to come to that conclusion and to disengage emotionally from my psychopathic son. I do know the pain the parents of this woman must be feeling though, and I found the comments to this article also interesting.

  4. I just read an article ab out a 10 year old boy who beat a woman to death and the parents do not want him back home.


    I have a “sneaking suspicion” that the parents have a budding psychopath on their hands, but the doctors will call it “conduct disorder” or “oppositional definance disorder” because you cannot diagnose a psychopath until age 18…but they must have had conduct problems PRIOR to age 15….

    when I worked in an inpatient facility for kids I saw kids like this that were totally out of control except for brute force. Kids that I would never have gone to sleep in the house with that child on the loose. They actually displayed “duping delight” at their antics. I have also known some kids socially who also displayed these symptoms. The son of a friend of my husband’s fell into this category.

    I do not blame these parents for not taking “junior” home.

  5. so much is in the news lately of “ordinary” children who become radicalized religious and politically going to fight for ISIS etc and the recent attacks in Paris by some of these individuals, by the articles about the 13 year old girl and her 18 yr old BF who are doing a “bonnie and clyde” act across the US…but this article sort of hit me as the level of denial that parents can have over the behavior of these semi- or actually adult offspring.

    This Wednesday Jan. 14, 2015 photo made available by the Butler County Jail shows Christopher Lee Cornell. Cornell plotted to attack the U.S. Capitol in Washington and kill government officials inside it and spoke of his desire to support the Islamic State militant group, the FBI said on Wednesday. (AP Photo/Butler County Jail)

    CINCINNATI (AP) — A 20-year-old Ohio man arrested in an FBI sting and charged with plotting to set off bombs at the U.S. Capitol and shoot government officials is scheduled to make his first appearance in court.

    Christopher Lee Cornell, described by his father as “a mommy’s boy” who lived with his parents in suburban Cincinnati and previously showed little direction, is scheduled to appear in federal court on Friday afternoon.

    Cornell was arrested Wednesday and charged with plotting to attack the Capitol with pipe bombs and guns. The arrest came after he posted on Twitter his support for Muslim terrorists and then showed his plans to an FBI informant who contacted him via the social-media platform, according to court documents.

    Cornell’s father, John Cornell, said his son was taken in by a “snitch” who was trying to help himself.

    “I’m going to fight this,” John Cornell said. “But I’m afraid they’re going to throw the book at him.”


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